Here’s What I Know, Volume #12: Soccer, NFL-less, and Harvey filth

Live from Courtesy Diner on Kingshighway after a seven hour Uber shift, let’s talk.

~How about that USA soccer team? 

Disclaimer: I care as much about soccer as I do the safe passage of decaf coffee towards my table. Fine sport and all, but there’s only so much time in the world to play with, and soccer just doesn’t do it for me. Perhaps a few garbage fires on the field would help. However, the most casual fan in the world can’t avoid the heartbreak and letdown that occurred Tuesday night when the soccer team failed to qualify for the World Cup. In losing to a team nobody has heard of, the country was embarrassed on a large stage. I drove someone home from a bar that simply couldn’t understand how the country couldn’t find 11 worthy players to win a single game. So much for that.

I woke up today feeling the same way about the team as I did yesterday. Is Landon Donovan still playing?

~What’s happening in the NFL?

I am asking because I clearly have no idea, nor do I want to. I hear the New York Giants are in trouble and the Dallas Cowboys are losing. The Green Bay Packers are winning, but the Patriots aren’t perfect. I really don’t care. 2017 marks the first time I haven’t watched at least a full quarter of football. And I have no regrets about missing the action. It’s an absolutely selfish sport, where the Commissioner clearly has no regard for the players or the fans. Without fantasy football, the sport would be half as relevant. Players are leaving the sport every month. Parents aren’t letting their kids play.

Why? Check out this scenario. “Hey son, you can grow up playing a sport for your entire life, possibly make a little money but probably not, and end up with a deadly brain disease from it for which the NFL will do nothing about.” Think about it.

It is true that Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones gave Stan Kroenke the leash to jam a fleshy tubesnake up the ass of my city and take the Rams from St. Louis-and in a horrible way. But that’s not the real reason I don’t watch the NFL. I just feel nothing for the sport. It gives nothing back and is the biggest hypocrite of all sporting events. Fuck it.

~One of the more honest and true sayings in life is, “you’ll never know what you have until it’s gone”. I didn’t realize how much I liked Tom Petty’s music until he died suddenly of a heart attack last week. I can’t get enough. Learning to fly. Runnin down a dream. Last dance with Mary Jane. The fact that he broke his hip and still toured told a soul all they needed to know about the guy. He was an old school BS-less rocker-and I miss him.

~Sylvester Stallone guest starred on NBC’s This Is Us last week, and it got me thinking Sly is one of my favorite actors, and Rocky is one of my favorite characters of all time- and for simple reasons. He was a million to one shot who did everything the hard way and won in the end. And his famous speech about “taking the hits” applies to every writer and radio host. It’s so easy to quit doing it because there isn’t much money and you take abuse. But there’s also virtue in staying the course, and by this time next month I could be back on the radio making money. You have to take the hits in order to make it in this field and I’ve taken plenty. I won’t back down.

~Sly is also looking rather burnt these days. You can cancel that tanning salon membership.

~Confession: I can’t into the NHL until at least ten games have been played. Call it a baseball hangover, but I just let it ease back into regulation before I go berserk over losses or sing aloud about wins. So I laugh when people freak out over October losses. To quote the great Jake Taylor, while paraphrasing of course: there’s 76 games left, so chill out.

~If the Cardinals don’t make bold impactful moves, I’m boycotting baseball from my life next summer…

…NOT! When people say that, I laugh even louder. You can’t quit baseball no matter how hard you try, especially if the hooks are in deep.

~I got sucked into watching Richie Rich this week with my son and I couldn’t help but wonder if Michael Jackson raped Macauley Culkin or not.

~Harvey Weinstein is the absolute worst. Talk about scum of the earth. A despicable abuser and rapist of women who should be beaten-albeit slowly-to a pulp. Power plays in Hollywood and it is painful. Every fucking a new story breaks about Harvey rubbing his dirty penis all over Hollywood. This may be the land of make believe’s biggest disgrace. I’m going to write more about this when I don’t feel like smashing a bottle over someone’s head.

~Kudos to Missouri boy Brad Pitt for once walking up to Harvey at a screening and threatening to toss him a beating. Way to represent, Bradley!

~I made it through the 1994 kids film Homeward Bound but dozed off during the first 15 minutes of Pirates of the Caribbean 5. Go figure.

~Be better, Johnny Depp.

~I respect guys like Daniel Day Lewis who only work when he absolutely fucking has to. Why trash your IMDB page?

*I know, I know. Pirates 5 made a shitload of cash and Depp can buy another island, but still, dignity!

~How about the upcoming NBA season….zzzzz….power nap!! And we’re back!

~Friday, the Italian weapon of authentic mass destruction, Frank Grillo, is going to fucking electrify your television sets with the new film, Wheelman. Believe me when I tell you that paying the monthly fee for Netflix will be worth it alone to see auteur Jeremy Rush paint Boston red with Grillo fury. There’s something special about empowering movie with a simple premise, “piss the driver off, he fucks you up”, that so many filmmakers skip over these days so they can give filmmakers a headache. The film is 82 minutes long, like a lean strip steak with no baked potato. I’m quite proud that Grillo is killing it these days. For the four of you that don’t know, I am known around the Midwest as the “do you know who Frank Grillo is” guy, so seeing him dominate on screens big and small is just cool. It’s not a man crush; it’s pure admiration and appreciation of a guy doing what he loves and working hard at a craft. There are guys who come to Hollywood not looking for awards, but only to kick ass, take names, and make some money while making people smile. Thanks, Frank.

Remember, October 20 is Wheelman day.

That’s all I have, at least for now. Around 1,000 words fit to print and post.

If you have something that bugs the shit out of you and want to vent about it, but can’t due to odd circumstances, email me at

Until next time,

Thanks for reading.

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