Bernie Sanders may never become President, but he will own the political meme game for a very long time.
Cold as shit Bernie went a long way during inauguration week, adding some levity to an extremely testy and dangerous situation. Humor is the best medicine. Someone with access needs to do a video of Bernie seeing all the memes created. Here’s my personal favorite (whoever made this deserves an award).
Meanwhile, the Blues are back doing that hockey, and have found mixed results. Guess what? Teams with new contributors do that. Remember when the team traded for guys named Ryan O’Reilly and Pat Maroon? It took a few weeks to get the entire team moving and flowing perfectly. It’s not like buying a new action figure at Target, and just tossing it into the pile in your room. But know this much: When Mike Hoffman and Torey Krug truly meld into Craig Berube’s gameplan and this team’s style of play, watch the fuck out, NHL. Just wait until Vladimir Tarasenko gets back, and possibly skates on a SECOND LINE! Deadly. Be patient, Blues fans.
Dear Taco Bell, please bring back the popular menu items. The plugged-in potato ad was nice and all, but don’t sleep on the simple pleasures. Last summer, you debuted a wonderful value menu item called the nacho crunch double-stacked taco. For a little over four quarters, customers got a crunchy, nacho cheese-filled taco with those little chips inside. For about four bucks, a soul could find long-lasting (until the next morning of course) happiness. You currently offer up a flattened chicken chipotle tortilla, like someone sat on a chicken quesadilla for two hours, and a cheesy rice and bean burrito that is 75% beans. Bring back the dollar double decker (hat tip to my bro, Tony Imperiale, for this gem), and stop messing around.
Oh, and please keep your “don’t eat Taco Bell” to yourself. The next time I want unsolicited food advice that I can’t find quietly on the internet, I’ll step outside and scream at the universe. We all do what we have to in order to stay sane and have some fun on this rock. Last time I checked, late night, the options for cheap tacos are slim. (No thanks, Jack n’ Box, I’d like to live past 40.)
Here’s what I’ll say about Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They aren’t perfect, but for some wild reason, I felt safer yesterday. Today too. The thing I love most about them is what they could do for our country. I believe in them, for better or worse. Perhaps they will listen to medical experts instead of worrying about where all the money is going. Perhaps they will fix a few bridges that were burned over the past four years. You think what you want to think, and I’ll do the same. No hate. No political ad-selling or mind games. That’s the beauty of the United States of America. We get to have our own thoughts, and hopefully can find the ability to be less hateful towards others about their thoughts. Just keep weak-as-shit comments like “deep throat” out of it. Maybe, just maybe, we can have some respect for women in 2021. Okay, better yet, respect for women on Jan. 22 and every day afterwards.
Here’s something else. Harris made fucking history on Wednesday. The first woman Vice President. Hope everybody in the world can handle that kind of history. Speaking of badass ladies:
Baseball fans, if you’re not following Chelsea Ladd on Twitter, then quite honestly, what are you doing with your life?
Football fans, if you’re not following Alexis Kraft on Twitter, seriously, get your shit together.
Hockey fans, if you’re not following Laura Astorian on Twitter, or reading her stuff over at stlouisgametime.com, then we will be bringing in a very loud parrot to repeatedly say, “Follow Laura, asshole, follow Laura!”
So, let’s recap our five things: Bernie memes rock, the Blues are back pulling on heartstrings, Taco Bell needs to restore some cheap food, Biden/Harris may work out, and you have some women to follow on Twitter.
Until next time,
P.S.-I am terribly sorry (not really) for any grammar slips during this latest dose. If you’re focusing solely on where everything should go, you’re missing the real point of the article.