Author: D. Buffa

A regular guy who feels a journalistic hunger to tell the news. I blog because its wired into my brain to write what I think in print. I offer an opinion. A solo tour here. Take regular stories and offer my spin on them. Sports, film, television, music, fatherhood, culture, food, and so on. Commentary on everything. A St. Louis native and Little Rock resident who wants to write just to keep the hands fresh and ready.

‘Homefront’ is a Jason Statham gem

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(Older movie reviews with a new coat of paint)

When you sit down for dinner this weekend and start selecting your portions, keep a spot open in your stomach for this latest slice of Statham mayhem.  A throwback to the old school guns blazing bone crunching action flicks of the 80’s, this movie delivers on the promise it made in the trailer.  Bad ass Statham,a daughter, and lots of mistakes made by feeble bad men who think fighting this seasoned action stud is an easy task.

Mention Jason Statham and people either shake their head in disbelief or nod in approval.   I laugh when people associate his name with acting in these certain action showcases.  If you want to see him act, watch Snatch, Bank Job or Revolver.  If you want to see sit down and see him kick ass and take names, watch this movie.   He is so convincing during his fight scenes that he heightens the material.  Unlike most action stars who rely on hours of choreography and still look awkward, Statham is in his comfort zone when taking on 2-3 guys at a time.  Ever since he dished his first real kick in The Transporter, he has owned the action hero genre.  Sylvester Stallone seems to think so.  He wrote this film specifically for the bullet headed Brit and it shows.  This is the kind of vintage good/bad/ugly flick that Sly made an artform back in the day.  Statham is a necessary and reliable action hero. (more…)

‘Labor Day’ is a movie for romantics

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Certain movies ask for the viewer to take a leap of faith when the theater goes dark and the show goes on.   This is the world of make believe and creation, so it’s important for a film addict to consider that when walking into any film. Jason Reitman’s latest film, Labor Day, is a film that the cynics will have a field day with but a story that old fashion romantics like myself will step out of their seat and participate in this real life slice of escapism.

Paramount Pictures

I credit Kate Winslet’s performance as the highlight of this film.   When we first meet this single mom, Adele, she seems wounded and allergic to human interaction and exposure to conversation.   Griffith, who plays her son Henry, is the only man in her life and this bird needs more love than that to take flight.  Throughout the course of the film, Winslet runs the gauntlet of human emotion, from fearless happiness to complete sadness.   It’s a marvelous and restrained performance.  When an actress can show restraint and still convey a heavy dose of emotion, that’s a special event. (more…)

Blues, Jon Snow, Paajarvi, and more

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Good morning people,

Welcome to the early morning hours of Whatever the hell I want to talk about. No politics or religion. Just random surges of consciousness followed by ridiculous stretches of ineptitude. I like to think of these whatever blogs as my chance to unwind and not play by the rules. Here’s what I mean.

When I do radio hits on 96.7 River Country in Arkansas or CBS 920 in St. Louis, I can’t say FUCK or really truly unleash. I have to calm it down. Sponsors don’t like the four letter word that says it all. I also can’t whip that out for most of the websites I write for and contribute to. Enter the dose.

After a last minute podcast with Carly Schaber Sunday night on the ever slowly growing DOB pod hub at Blogtalk Radio, I wanted to come here and address the flurry of questions sent in by another fine Dan. That is Dan Reilly, STL resident Blues addict and drummer extraordinaire. We met and correspond via Twitter. He asked me a few things and we couldn’t get to them on the pod(30 minutes goes by quick when you are making threats to managers with long hair), so I wanted to come here for a DOB Overtime Session. Let’s get right to it before you click out of this to check your email or text.

Easy question. It’s because we write so much BS that we have an answer for everything. I married my wife 11 years ago and still think it’s the best move ever. Removing the maple syrup from that comment, let’s just say a wise writer doesn’t let a good lady go. As far as picking up multiple hot chicks, I have no clue. My game was retired years ago.

Yes, but that doesn’t mean shit in make believe land. In a land of sorcerers who like to get naked(the red haired chick to be precise), Snow can come right back and go back to being the imperfect yet well meaning heroic son we all know him to be. Kit was on set and is in the trailers. For the story, it would be best if he stayed dead because it’s better for the story and other characters, but once Agent Caulson came back anything was possible.

Montpelier(I looked it up).

Sports are painful brother. Bad. They exist to raise our blood pressures and anxiety levels. It’s not easy being a real fan. I grew up next to my dad being a halfway passionate sports fan. He’d watch, get fed up, and easily cut off from it. I watched, got sucked in, and was shattered. That’s the buy in at this table of sports. You sit down, push your heart into the middle of the table and dare to see it crushed. EVERY YEAR! The Blues will prevail over the Hawks. In seven games. Book it.

It has to be good evidence. I am not sure if it is Pete Kozma 2013 on Mike Matheny and John Mozeliak good but it’s good. Magnus Paajarvi didn’t just get ice time in too many games in 2015-16. He got premium ice time next to Vladimir Tarasenko. That’s like letting a shitty cover band step on stage with the Stones in the 60’s. Bullshit. #56 sucks hairy monkey balls.

Easiest question yet. We are a large army of balded or bearded or simple minded romantic bastards with a need to impose our will. You can’t deny us or resist us. We may not do a lot of drugs, drive fast cars or look like James Dean but we can fight and are passionate about things.

Sometime soon. It’s been over a year and every time I come into town I am so fucking busy. I’ve visited around 5-6 times and it’s always go here, then there, and back to here. Eventually, I can just come back to the Lou and stay. Next time I come in, Reilly, we are drinking. Hopefully toasting a Stanley Cup or a Blues team that had a pulse in mid April after Game 2.

That’s all. Check out the latest DOB podcast for some extended answers and in order to hear the voice of the talented young lady, Carly ScHABer.

Dose of Buffa 2

Thank you for the questions Dan Reilly. Keep drumming pal.

Changing scores at Busch Stadium’s Manual Scoreboard

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Manual Scoreboard- Manual scoreboard operators Troy Siade, left, and Danny Buffa take in the Cardinals-Giants game from their favorite spot behind the manual scoreboard at Busch Stadium Wednesday night.
Manual Scoreboard-
Manual scoreboard operators Troy Siade, left, and Danny Buffa take in the Cardinals-Giants game from their favorite spot behind the manual scoreboard at Busch Stadium Wednesday night. (Phil Carlson)

“Watch out!”

“What?”

“Mark McGwire just hit the scoreboard with another batting practice home run.”

True story, folks.

Few people in life get to work their dream job. For eight years on the Manual Scoreboard at the old Busch Stadium, I had the opportunity to watch the St. Louis Cardinals 81 games a year and get paid for it. It involved a lot of sweat and stress, but there was nothing like it.

As my colleague Jim Kleinschmidt repeatedly told us on the 100 degree August days up top the metal housing in a section of terrace reserved seating, “I can’t believe they pay us to do this.” The sentiment was shared by many. If you didn’t mind sweating through a couple shirts and working around scaffolding, the Cards paid you to watch and monitor baseball.

What did this job entail? I’d get to Busch around 4pm in the afternoon. I’d pick up the Dow Industrial numbers, notes on the Cards game and a printout of the night’s games. By 5pm, I was changing team names if needed, setting up leaderboards and getting all the starting pitcher numbers ready to rock and roll. By 6pm, it was time to head down to the Press Box. One of the perks was getting to eat there, drink all the pink lemonade the body could handle and maybe toss a few notes at Bernie Miklasz or the late Joe Strauss about a story idea I was writing up. Maybe greet an announcer or two. And then we were off.

When the Cards game was firing up, the rest of the board was brought up to speed. The East coast games needed 2-3 innings filled in and yes, the fear of dropping a number out of the board was constant. Like the players we watched, the scoreboard crew became a family. We’d scream at each other about a late risky Tony La Russa pitching change and use a bag of ice to engage in cross league ice throwing battles, but we became good friends. There isn’t a day that goes by without me pausing to think about the moments behind a board during the top of the ninth when the Birds were going to win and the building was going to go nuts.

The 2016 season marks 10 years since the Manual Scoreboard shut down. I worked the Scoreboard from 1998, when Big Mac reined, until 2005, when Roy Oswalt turned off the lights on old Busch and the Scoreboard. Here are the 10 things I’ll remember the most about working the scoreboard.

Getting a call from Tony La Russa

One night, the Cards destroyed the Cubs. Scored ten runs in one inning even. In order to rub it in, the crew left the 10 in the inning slot. The next day, La Russa called the board and believe me, I’d never seen my comical supervisor sound so stern and shocked. “Yes, Mr. La Russa, sure, you know it, yes, of course, right Tony.” Lesson: Don’t show up another team on Tony’s watch.

The Birth of #5

Albert Pujols arrived on the scene and the crew thought he was just another guy. The person who made the roster because Bobby Bonilla was hurt and McGwire liked a lot. By the end of the 2005 season, when Pujols hit the moon shot off the train against Brad Lidge, #5 was a legend. I got to see him play over 75 times a season from 2001-2005. He put together 8 straight seasons of 7 WAR or more. He averaged 42 HR, 120 RBI and 45 doubles for those 5 seasons. Pujols eventually left, but I’ll never see a better ballplayer in my lifetime come along like him.

Manual Scoreboard- Peering through the ninth-inning box window, Danny Buffa, a manual scoreboard operator at Busch Stadium, takes in the Cardinals-Giants Wednesday night.
(Phil Carlson)
Peering through the ninth-inning box window, Danny Buffa, a manual scoreboard operator at Busch Stadium, takes in the Cardinals-Giants Wednesday night.

Troy Siade and the Jim Edmonds and Art Holliday fascination

My late friend Troy and I had a fascination with Edmonds. Nothing left us speechless longer than a classic Edmonds catch or spin away from an up and in pitch.  We were mesmerized by his baseball skills, but we also couldn’t help but count the seconds it took for him to rise off the ground after a great catch. He would milk that moment for as long as he could. Troy loved Edmonds more than any ballplayer, even Pujols. Why? He was lefthanded, played center field better than Flood and was cocky. That was my friend Troy. He also almost stole a framed picture of Art Holliday from a suite once. No one knows why. When Siade passed away to Non Hodgkins Lymphoma Disease before his 39th birthday in 2004, the Cards let us spread some of his ashes in center field. Finally, he got to lay where Edmonds laid out on so many breathtaking occasions. Rest in peace my friend.

Working the Scoreboard made you a Rock Star

All my friends wanted to come up on the board, and they didn’t just want pictures. They wanted to work. One time, my dentist came up on a night where the board was shorthanded. For two hours, Dr. Anderson and his friend helped take care of an entire league. That’s how you use a scoreboard allure to your advantage.

The Bittersweet Big Mac Roller Coaster

My first year on the board featured the dramatic and ultimately bittersweet epic tale of Big Mac and Sammy Sosa. Their Ali-Frazier like slugfest in the pursuit of Roger Maris’ single season home run record. On the National League side of the scoreboard, a slot was used for the individual battle. Using two pitching numbers, one of the crew would slide in a new number when McGwire or Sosa went deep. Later on, when Mac was racking up career HR highlights, supervisor Joe Gramen would post up near the exit door where the leaderboard was or the 60 year old would run down to it when Mac went deep. I’ve never seen an old man move that fast.

(Phil Carlson) With the Detroit Tigers unwittingly lending a hand, manual scoreboard operator Danny Buffa playfully heckles one of the ushers working below during the Cardinals-Giants game Wednesday night at Busch Stadium.
(Phil Carlson)
With the Detroit Tigers unwittingly lending a hand, manual scoreboard operator Danny Buffa playfully heckles one of the ushers working below during the Cardinals-Giants game Wednesday night at Busch Stadium.

Years later, I don’t care what Mac said he did or didn’t do. Those were fun seasons.

Press Box Perks

Every time I’d walk into the press box and see Jack Buck sitting by himself in the red suit and calmly taking a few moments before the game, it was a pleasure I kept in my memory bank. I’d occasionally go over to him and say hello, and he would flash that 10,000 watt smile and make me feel like the most important man on the earth. When he died, it wasn’t fair to anyone. He was truly the best. Still is.

Non Press Box Perks

Having Al Hrakosky joke to one of the crew that they put a zero in upside down. True story.

Worst moment ever

Listening to a game I couldn’t work at home and hearing Joe Buck say on the air that a number on a game was put in upside down. Uncommon but forgivable mistake. When the person working that game is your best friend that you brought on, it was a problem.

Breaking the board down after a game

When the teams left the field and fans left the seats, Busch got empty and quiet. The lights would get shut off. On the nights I’d choose to clean the board and set it up for the next day, I’d come out afterwards, sit on the retired banners concourse and just take it in. One of the underrated perks of working at a stadium is seeing it when it sleeps. Looking down on the field where so much had happened and so much would happen, it was hard to not get nostalgic. I miss those midnight hangouts.

Talking to the sportswriters

Every chance I had, I’d walk over to Miklasz, Strauss or Bryan Burwell and just bounce stuff off their shields. They were the hot stuff beat writers and commentary artists, and I was the scrappy young blogger/aspiring journalist. I’d present a theory to them and see how much it weighed. Sometimes a good conversation broke out. Sometimes, I’d look like an idiot. They were always classy and gracious. I miss those days.

I don’t miss the hair I had, the buckets of sweat I shed or banging my head seventy times a season. The Manual Scoreboard will always be the best job I ever had. It combined baseball, friends, and some cash. I was disappointed the new stadium didn’t retain the board but was quietly happy to retire after 8 grueling yet special seasons.

What are your greatest memories from the old Busch Stadium?

 

Frank Grillo Interview: Avenging Purge Artist of Kingdom

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Frank Grillo doesn’t waste a second of your time on screen. What you see is what you get. Every time. Pure rapid authenticity and dedication to a role. He may be avenging a few heroes, purging some bad guys or trying to get inside the head of a fighter he is training. Every film and every set, Grillo is simply hustling. Trying to get it all right and give the fans a show. Something they will remember.

People will gloss over the Oscar nominations this month, but I’ll tell you there is a fine list of actors who left a dent in my mind and did something unforgettable who don’t own Oscars. They hold your attention and that is good enough for them. For the third time, Grillo and I got on the phone and talked about a number of things ranging from Crossbones to Leo Barnes to Ronda Rousey and Conor McGregor. It wasn’t a standard interview. It was a conversation. Enjoy.

(more…)

My endorsement for Twitter’s “Bruno”

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I know what you are thinking. What the fuck am I writing about the St. Louis Cardinals account known as @StlCardsCards, aka the account with Tom Brunansky as his profile pic?

He goes by Bruno now and his podcast is tentatively called the Jon Hamm podcast. He has been going back and forth with me on the validity of spring training for 24 hours now, including 87 tweets, two podcasts and one long extended pissing contest about who is right, wrong and how certain groups on Twitter are just dumb.

Let me explain.

When the Roo Court started up Cards Madness, I secretly wanted Bruno to win. I voted for him over @CardinalTales aka Bob the Barbecue Great. I even voted for Bruno over my writing idol, Bernie Miklasz. It was a Twitter account contest. Not a “best writer” contest. Bruno and I don’t belong anywhere near the latter event.

Why did I vote for Bruno? He brings something different and unique to the Twitterverse. You won’t find too many accounts on the social networking giant(started by a STL local named Jack) that can combine Joe Strauss worthy snark, a real knowledge of the game, and a willingness to be the heel in many conversations. Bruno likes to the the bastard and embraces it. He breaks down other accounts because they either can’t handle his level of attack or they just don’t understand what he brings. It’s not to be taken seriously. Then again, it’s not a joke either.

If Bruno tries to tell you it’s nothing personal, he is lying. It’s always personal and he means what he says. How is it not personal if it sincere? However, he isn’t getting on Twitter to combat you and drive you insane. He wants you to think and laugh. I remember early last season, Bruno and I didn’t follow each other but he led the “Account I Don’t Follow Yet See Retweeted A Shitload” standings. I liked what he brought to the table, even though we disagreed on many things. Disagreeing is okay people. It starts up conversations that scan many tweets, smacks, chats and long lasting feelings. It’s how you connect with other sports fans on Twitter. You can either handle it or you take it VERY personally and go away.

I liked what he brought and followed. You won’t find many Bruno’s on the net. I don’t think you will ever see another account with Tom Brunansky as their profile pic. Soon, he followed back, even though he constantly reminds how all his 101(or so) follow backs that he really shouldn’t follow them and they are nuts, dumb or something weird and harsh. We discussed Matt Adams(back when I defended the now low value pile of Buffalo Wild Wings junk). We came together on the tragedy of Oscar Taveras and shared our articles. We disagree on Mike Matheny’s baseball IQ. We disagree on how much stock should be given to spring training games. Do they matter? How much? Do player stats matter? Trends? Streaks?

While I disagreed with him these past 24 hours over and over again(I’ve never talked so long about exhibition games), I never lost respect for Bruno. Not at all. It may not seem that way when we zing each other and quote tweet the fuck out of each other’s accounts. As I told Bruno’s podcast partner John Rabe, that is what happens when passion, stubbornness, and a need to impose your will clash together on a social media network.

After all, like many of my favorite Cards follows, I have never met Bruno in person nor do I know his name. He’s basically Lucas Hood from Banshee. A man with no true identity. He may be called Gary, Connor, Calvin, Charlie, Devin, Brock, Scott, Steve, Dave, Fletcher, Barry or Ralph for all I know. I have a feeling I will never know his name and I am cool with that. Unlike several Twitter accounts without a real name, Bruno has never changed his profile pic(well there was that idiotic Cards Cyborg shit last year for a day or so) or his handle. Like my other favorite follows such as Art Lippo and Cardinals Farm, he has stuck to his nickname. I can respect that.

On the start of another Cardinals season, it’s always a good time to follow a few new accounts. Now, for all the follow back sweethearts, Bruno may not follow you back. He won’t until he hears you out, sees your tweeting style, and decides if he wants to drop a few 140 character hand grenades on your day. Don’t be discouraged.

There are some accounts I follow on Twitter that don’t follow back. Ten to be exact and if Bruno unfollowed me, I’d still follow him. Why? He brings something unique, doesn’t back down from a fight and keeps me honest. While I still disagree with him overall on the validity of spring training stats, he got me thinking and made me dig in deeper into my stance on the subject. He wasn’t mean, overly harsh, or an asshole. Well, maybe a little of the last one, but sometimes it is required to get a point across. Again, I can respect that.

Follow @StlCardsCards. If you aren’t on Twitter, get on Twitter and follow him. Follow him, Art, Rabe, Farm, and a few others. He is a funny man with a knowledge for the game.

He can even make spring training games seem interesting with his tweets.

I endorse Bruno for Twitter, even though he compared me to Donald Trump today.

We Are Live and Carolla: Good Radio Meets Hard Work

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Hard work leads to good things, right?

The old adage is that if you stick your feet in the ground and take a true shot at something, goals can be attained. Or so people said as I was growing up, reading and writing whatever sports and film commentary I could get my hands on. When I started this thing five years ago, I wanted to get my voice out to the masses or the 10-15 people who actually read this blog. A way to calm the noise in the head or the need to impose my will. So when I see a couple hard driving scrappers like Chris Denman and Travis Terrell take an evening radio show and turn it into a date on a stage with Adam Carolla, I salute them.

Denman and Terrell are the epitome of hard work and passion. A little while ago, they wanted to start a podcast and much to their luck and timing, Tim McKernan at Inside STL threw them the evening slot on CBS 920 AM. They didn’t waste their chance and turned it into a show that touches on a number of topics. They can go from Donald Trump blasting to Gas Pump Confessions to MMA to Movies and then take a U-Turn to sports. It’s a truly unique show where nothing is out of bounds. Listeners get a variety and it’s not called 106.5. (more…)

Dana White: UFC 196’s real winner

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Why is the UFC so popular?

That is the question on everybody’s mind the past few years. What makes this combat sport so thrilling, intoxicating and something even casual observers are talking about at the water cooler on Monday morning? For starters, the creator and big boss-Dana White-cares about his fans as much as his fighters and sponsors.

Saturday night, UFC 196 elicited two major upsets. Two champions lost their belt and left the night looking up at another opponent celebrating instead of their own jubilation. This may lead some to believe that White would be truly upset.

Would he be upset that Holly Holm, The Preacher’s Daughter sensation and kickboxing virtuoso, lost to Miesha Tate, taking some of the sizzle off her reported rematch with Ronda Rousey later this year?

Would he be upset that his undefeated golden Irish war child, Conor McGregor, was upset by recent injured opponent replacement Nate Diaz? (more…)

Shades of Blues: Routine cop drama elevated by Ray Liotta

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Seeing Ray Liotta slumber through a graveyard drinking whiskey in a police officer’s uniform can be crossed off my need to see list. NBC’s Shades of Blues is your normal run of the mill cop show with a great assist from Liotta but occasionally it can produce a moment that makes you wonder if it belonged in another show. The past few weeks of this series have produced more of those moments.

The effect of Detective Saperstein’s demise is sitting like a heavy stone on the hearts of the entire crew as episode 109 opened up at his funeral. Detective Harlee Santos(Jennifer Lopez, getting better every week) knowing that Liotta’s Wozniak was the one who not only killed Sap once but finished the job after faking a bomb threat in the hospital.

The show produced one of those moments at the end of episode 8, where Drea de Matteo’s Tess Nazario read the departed detective’s letter, which talked about “things happening because things happen and not for any particular reason”. Seeing Santos look over his casket and promise Sap that she would “make this right” pointed the show in a whole other direction.

It’s clearly Santos against Wozniak with the FBI(led by pervy Warren Nole’s Agent Stahl) watching over every move. The juice of Shades of Blues has hung on the live wire act that Santos has to pull off every week. She has to obey the Feds so she stays out of prison and doesn’t abandon her daughter. She has to turn her back on a group that she thinks of as family the past decade of her life. Lopez also has the rock PERFECT MAKEUP every single second of the way. Nobody on network television ever looks bad. Even Matteo’s skin doesn’t look too bad. I can’t handle the perfection.

Don’t look around these parts for Emmy Award coatings. All network cop shows have some good and lots of bad. The days where David Mamet and Michael Mann patrolled these streets are long gone and showrunners like Adi Hasak(screenwriter of 3 Days to Kill and From Paris with Love) try to do their best imitation of true grit for a season or two before it starts to stink.

The best path to enjoying a show like Shades of Blue is to embrace the imperfections and soak up the tiny moments of greatness. It’s a fast food restaurant with an occasional great order. It has its moments.  One where true pathos mixes with a well written scene and a great acting talent like Liotta. He is the reason to watch this show.

From the very start, Liotta(a true authentic face of cinema) has been the plug. Without him, the show dies faster than a romantic subplot.  Liotta automatically commands your attention with his intensity, approach to a character, and complete buy in. When you look at J. Lo and wonder if she went from the set straight to her concert show in Las Vegas, just look back at Ray and smile with satisfaction. He’s a real old school actor. He elevates this show. Hasik knows this and puts him in nearly as many scenes as Lopez.

The actress isn’t bad. She’s always been a better actress than singer but a better performer than both. She is great at emoting, holding a weapon with authority(remember Out of Sight!), and doing a good enough job in a role to avoid embarrassment.

Shades of Blues has gotten better each week, keeping fans on their heels and ratcheting up the tension. Will Harlee bring down her boss and father figure in Wozniak, a guy who helped put her abuser in jail many years ago? Will she try to work both sides until her soul is completely empty? Her actions cost Saperstein his life and wrecked the crew while leaving trust sliding around the room like a drunk foam cup.

There’s four episodes left and a second season arrives this fall. NBC knows it can leverage a corruption story mixed between NYC cops and the FBI for at least one more season. With star power like Lopez and a talent like Liotta, this show can run for a while. Law and Order: SVU may run until I am in a nursing home, so Shades of Blue has a little pasture to gallop across and the writing doesn’t have to improve much. This is network people. They killed Jack Bauer twice, gave LL Cool J a starring role and gave Chicago a fire, police and hospital series. Anything can happen.

When it took over for The Player in January, I didn’t know what to think of this series. Why did NBC hold onto a Lopez show for a summer release and not run that out of the gauntlet ahead of a poorly conceived Wesley Snipes series? Whatever confusion and misfortune hung with the beginning, the end may be better.

Just don’t expect too much out of Shades of Blues. It’s a guilty pleasure “been there seen that” cop show with enough “moments” and Liotta four wheel drive to run for a little while. It doesn’t ask you to think, beg for your attention or deny you the occasional thrill. It’s satisfying in the same way that Five Guys double cheeseburger with extra onion was.

Talking Points: An old fashioned rant

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How the fuck are you this morning?

Welcome to an old fashioned, ladies and gents. Sit down, because this will take a while. Get that scrolling index finger ready. It’s time to kick it old school and just unleash a rant. I spend so much time writing “columns” aka organized assholes. No guarded and proper stories that are spaced out perfectly around ads or rejected because they are too bruising to egos or reputations. When I started the Dose five years ago, I wanted the trigger code to read, “Write Whatever The Fuck I Please”. There will lots of fucks in this blog by the way so brace yourself. You know, that word we use a ton but don’t want to write digitally or in print because our professional tag may get stained. Fuck it, let’s say whatever we want. There will be long winded uncut paragraphs that would make an English professor spit out his whiskey soaked cup of hot tea. I don’t care. I flunked out of college. This blog won’t be proofread either, so spare me the corrections or keyboard gangster feel good segments. Forward your punctuation police tickets to my four year son, who will promptly tell you, “Put on Netflix and leave my dad alone.” Let’s talk.

Thank you UFC. MMA. Whatever. Give it a name and I’ll buy a tri-blend t-shirt with it on the chest. Dana White’s entourage of brutal asskickers is growing for one simple reason. He makes fight cards that contain unknowns. Thrillers. His fights have upset written all over them. Unlike boxing promoters, who design fights like their dick is holding a pair of tweezers over a microscope and burning candle, White shows zero fear in matching different styles in a ring. He put Ronda Rousey, the cover of GIRL POWER Nation, in a ring with a kickboxer for christs sakes! He put Conor McGregor in the ring with a ground and pound specialist. He embraces the “You Never Know” every single card. That is why local bars and pubs are showing UFC fights and NOT boxing fights. The hype is matched by the fights and humans love carnage. While you may resemble a whistle blowing bitch on the NFL and other violence, nothing gets more retweets on twitter than a single punch knockout or violent vine. Since our birth, violence is like CRACK. If we can’t be the ones fighting in that ring, we MUST SEE it. Over and over. Who watches the replay of a knockout or submission one time? Nobody. Mother Teresa would have said damn when Holly Holm aka the Preacher’s Daughter went to sleep with a minute left in the fight. Thank you Dana White for having BALLS.

Respect to Conor McGregor for having class after a huge loss. Instead of leaving the ring like a petulant bitch(Hey Ronda), Conor stayed and took the heat. He did the postfight Q&A and the presser. The guy moved up two weight classes(25 pounds people) to accept the replacement challenge of Nate Diaz. He threw everything but the chairs at ringside at Diaz in their nearly two round fight. He tried. The Irish Tazmanian Devil has lightning quick hands and opened holes all over Diaz’s face but the challenger just kept coming. When it was all over, and the lights were going out, The Notorious One made a last second lunge for Diaz and fell into a trap. He tapped. He is no longer invincible in the UFC, and added his 3rd loss to his overall MMA record. He’ll be back. He is still the 145 pound champ and main shit disturber. He can pick his next opponent. Fighters still fear him and should. He’s got some blood dripping from his shoulder now. He’s wounded. Pissed off. I like Conor because he backs up his big talk with big time efforts and he is fucking fearless. You tell him the brick wall in front of him won’t break and he’ll spend a few hours punching and kicking it trying to defy logic. He takes challenges and fights his ass off. It’s not all smoke and mirrors. I’ll be watching.

Spring Training sucks. Really. Look, there’s nothing wrong with sitting down and watching these fake games. Everybody does. Just don’t slam people for not caring or having the strong opinion that getting worked up over Jupiter battles is futile. March exists for one reason. Repetition and recovery. Pitchers and hitters getting back what was rusty. It’s not about their batting average or strikeout total. The only thrill of watching spring training is seeing young players like Harrison Bader get a little tunnel of opportunity. Other than that, stay healthy, stay off motorcycles, and come to the regular season ready. There’s 162 games in a season folks. These games don’t count and matter little. Watch them but don’t lose sleep or breath. It’s not worth it. Look at Matt Holliday. When he saw his name on the lineup card playing first base, his back tightened up.

Will the Blues choke? I’ve already been asked this question and not for bad reasons. In a little over a month, the Blues will most likely start their first round playoff series. It’s getting close. That time of the year where a Blues fan gets really hopeful before their heart is ripped out of their chest and basketball is played with it. Will this team choke? I’ve written so many pieces on them for St. Louis Game Time this season, and a lot of it has been complaining. The Rogues in Blue have a way of frustrating their fanbase while compiling a great regular season record.

The Blues are like Peyton Manning before 2006. A great regular season contender who becomes less in the playoffs. Now, Peyton just retired and I will get to him later but the comparison is fitting. The Blues have made the playoffs over 35 times since their inception. A lot. They haven’t won much this past decade. A few series and a lot of blue balls and unsatisfied desires. Is 2015-16 different? I’d like to say yes but I just don’t think so. They have 85 points but still don’t score enough. Their team hasn’t been completely healthy that much this season, but few teams are. It’s all about executing when the spotlight gets wide and hot. Not about excuses or how much effort was shown. I see guys who weren’t here last year like Colton Parayko and Robby Fabbri. They are the real deal and may give the team something extra. Then I see the team going seven games and scoring 2 goals or less in five of those contests and get worried. This team is too hard to read. Will they choke? Don’t ask me that question yet. Where’s that red haired lady from Game of Thrones? Ask her.

Carlos Martinez is a better pitcher than Michael Wacha. It’s not even close. If you need reasons, check out my piece later this week at Redbird Rants(shameless plug!).

Peyton Manning will officially retire today and it’s a perfect ending to a great career. The man had a helluva run. Instead of bucking and going to the Los Angeles Go Fuck Yourself Rams, he will hang up his cleats. He screamed “OMAHA” for the last time in the Super Bowl he won with the help of a great defense. Manning has two rings, every single worthy QB regular season record and he has tons of class. Read a few stories on what his guy has done throughout his career for people in his community. Calling victims of violence or their loved ones in a time of need. He called the parents of Jessica Redfield, the woman killed in the Aurora movie theater shootings, days after her death. Forget the hack claims that he sexually assaulted a woman in college. Those claims ran into a brick wall. I love hearing about something that happened 18 years ago being used as a weapon today. Fuck those butthurt fools!

Manning goes out on top. Riding off into the sunset while flipping Kroenke the bird. He did what he needed to do. Won the elusive 2nd Super Bowl ring and can now enter the top 5 quarterbacks of all time. Unlike Tom Brady, controversy or a stupid Pete Carroll play call never brought down Manning’s achievements. He did it all clean and the hard way. The man was left for dead in 2011 after a neck surgery severed his ties with the Indianapolis Colts. He had four neck surgeries and still came all the way back to lead his team to two Super Bowls. How many players took two different teams from mediocrity or shit to the promise land a pair of times? He took the Colts and Broncos to the big game twice,and gave each town a title. How many quarterbacks did that? How many did it at such a late age? Peyton’s boss, John Elway, did and that’s kind of cool.  Manning could have went to LA, Houston, or some other shithole and took more abuse and probably finished with a 9-7 or 8-8 record. Fuck that. Leave with your mind and body intact. So many players leave on a stretcher. They leave on a mental slab of metal, unable to convince their mind that the body has taken enough damage. It’s not just the sacks or quarterback rushes. It’s the late hits these days. That shit hurts. Remember Troy Aikman and Kurt Warner getting slammed and smashed during their final days. Do they regret it? Their mouth will say no but their cartilage and muscles will say yes. Manning avoids all of that. Good for him. Get on that horse and go host Saturday Night Live some more(because it SUCKS) and do some commercials.

With Peyton’s exit and the Rams move, I am without a team and favorite player. I won’t be acquiring a new team or favorite player. Not now. I won’t be watching much NFL action next year. The league took a BIG dump on my hometown and frankly, I’ve been slowly losing interest in its play. A bunch of dumb bastards hitting other dumb bastards. Lots of inactivity. Lots of commercials. A Super Bowl driven by commercials. A league driven purely by greed with little care for its fans. Since my team and my player are gone, so am I. I am not saying I won’t watch. That would be a flat out lie. I just won’t care as much as I did before, and that’s a stance I won’t waver on. The NFL isn’t family or a friend. They are a stranger on the street who used to be good looking and worthy of my attention.

Canelo Alvarez is going to smoke Amir Khan in May. It may be an interesting fight for a few rounds, but once Saul sizes up his foe, the fists will unleash a tormenting pain that the glass jar of Khan won’t be able to withstand. Later this year, Alvarez and Gennady Golovkin will come together for the biggest fight in boxing since….Pacquiao and Mayweather Jr. last year. This fight will be worth every single penny because these guys will fill out their medical forms completely, not let off site politics get in the way and they will stand and trade shots until one of them drops. That may be the last worthy PPV contest for a few years. Or ten.

Fuck Manny Pacquiao. In case you thought my dose last week was quiet fumes, my stance holds up. When he compared homosexuals to animals, he lost my support. If your religion doesn’t allow you to support something, that’s fine. Choice is what REALLY drives this world and life anyway. Believe in what you want. Comparing a gay man or lesbian woman to an animal is disrespectful, stupid, and simply uncalled for. I hope Timothy Bradley takes the real Mickey(Teddy Atlas) and kicks Manny’s ass six ways from Saturday. True thought: Manny stopped being an electric fighter when Juan Manual Marquez stopped his clock back in 2013.

What do I miss most about St. Louis? Family, the streets, Busch Stadium and other regulatory shit but I miss the FOOD the most. Good food. Easy to find good food. Mom’s Deli. Dewey’s Pizza. Zia’s on the Hill. La Cosecha Coffee and Shaw’s Coffee. Tucker’s Steak House. Johnnies in Soulard. Uncle Bills. I even miss Quik Trip. I envy the folks who get Tim Horton’s 24/7 coffee service off Olive downtown. Arkansas food sucks monkey balls.

The election is going to be a fucking gong show folks. Who are you voting for? The answer is you are fucking crazy. All these candidates suck. Republican, Democrat, Independent, Dependent on Stupid, Co-Dependent on French Fries, or whatever. If Donald Trump is elected, we are doomed. If Ted Cruz is elected, he won’t produce any real change. What happened to all the truly good Presidents? When did it become a need to vote for the candidate least likely to do serious damage to our country? This is terrible. Like cold coffee cold Chinese food cold gravy dry turkey bad terrible. I’m not voting for anybody. I’m writing in Henry Rollins. He won’t win but I’ll sleep at night knowing I scribbled down a name that would reestablish the order. An agent of chaos maybe! Washington stinks. Like Twain said, change the diaper.

How the hell do guys grow a beard past 10 weeks? I hit the NINE week mark on Sunday. Nine. I have hair covering my lips. There’s a bush on my face and it creates odd weird stenches that I don’t want to describe. I love my beard. I am not comfortable without hair on my face. Not on my head. On my face. I started growing a beard about a year ago and will have one until I leave this rock. There’s something sophisticated about having a bald head and beard. People look at me like I shouldn’t be taken for granted and also wonder if they could grow something like that. I just wonder how guys grow a beard past 10 weeks without any trimming. I’m getting a trim on Wednesday. I’ve met my match. 9 and a half weeks. Here’s to you Mickey.

Watch Paul Sparks on Boardwalk Empire and then watch him in House of Cards. Now that is an actor. Two completely different characters yet a little similarity. Riveting. Yes, you have no idea who Paul Sparks is so let me help.

Suicide Squad will be better than Batman vs Superman. Why? Better director, story, and a more assured idea of what it wants to be. Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne will be the highlight of BvS. If you don’t care, save me the “I don’t watch Comic Book films.” Or be more original.

Can I talk to you about Frank Grillo? You know him well here. He leads “non Cardinal” story searches on the Dose. If you don’t know who he is, that’s a shame. He’s my favorite actor. An authentic 52 year old badass who is riding the height of a cannon blast that started eight years ago with a film called Pride and Glory. You never heard of it. Gavin O’ Connor directed this underrated gem about corrupt cops tied together through the hard string of family and gang violence. Edward Norton, Colin Farrell and Jon Voight all killed in it. One guy, Grillo, popped up in a scene that I won’t soon forget. A dirty cop terrorizing a clerk at a drug store for money and free shit, Grillo’s evil grin painted a couch in your memory. One scene is all he needed.

After that, there’s another O’Connor gem, Warrior. Grillo’s Frank Campana is a character he took off the page as a paper thin cardboard character and made him three dimensional. The Grey, End of Watch, and Captain America: Winter Soldier. All films that he was listed a few spots down on the depth chart but when you left the theater, all you wanted to know was “Who was that guy?” Grillo built his career like a hustler taking the extra base on a ball hit into the gap. He takes a role that looks familiar or invisible and turns it into something rich and memorable. Now, people are taking notice. He headlined The Purge: Anarchy(Purge 2) and will headline a third Purge film this summer. He stars in the critically acclaimed and audience underappreciated Direct TV series Kingdom, about a family of MMA fighters. A series that focuses more on what these guys and gals can’t hit outside the ring than the people they face in the octagon. A show that deserves your attention. Grillo will appear as a master shit disturber in Captain America: Civil War this spring. Truth be told, he is all over the place and the world of entertainment couldn’t be better for it. A lot of people in this business are handed shit. They are given a date to Prom. Grillo had to hustle against some big castmates. He wrestled away scenes from stars. Grillo isn’t the movie star. He’s the one the director brings in to kick the movie star’s ass.

I’ve gotten to know Frank over a few interview sessions and Twitter conversations and he’s true class. The man owes a guy like me nothing and he gives more of himself than a fan/writer could dream of. I’ll never stop being an advocate for whatever Grillo is doing. He earned it the hard way, is very good at what he does, and gives back.

What else? 10 bit Rapid fire round commencing….

The Chicago Blackhawks are going to be fierce in the playoffs again. The bastards added depth at the deadline, muscled up and won’t go away.

The Chicago Cubs won’t win a damn thing in 2016. Overrated team.

The Cards pitching staff is better than the Cubs. That will matter late in the season after Jake Arrieta blows his elbow off.

Do I write specifically for page clicks? No. I write stories that I find interesting, want answers to or my readers demand. Do I like page reads and clicks? YES. Any serious writer who says otherwise is a liar. LIAR!

Anybody that tweets a link more than once telling you to read “this latest piece on how flour helps make break” or whatever WANTS clicks.

I HATE writing solely to write. Write this so we hit this mark. The material should have some punch.

Nothing is more draining or useless than writing a game/TV show recap. Telling people what happened. They have TV replays for that. Make it fun or inventive. There’s too much content on the net to be ordinary.

Thanks for not giving me a real winter, Little Rock. Reason Arkansas sucks #4,420.

College sports are a bore so count me out for March Madness. Bring a pair of gloves over and head gear and we can spar. Now that will be madness.

Sam Bradford is NOT worth 18 million per season. Brock Osweiler is not worth 12 million per season. These NFL contracts are utterly hilarious.

Thanks for reading if you made it to the end. Your prize is a free subscription.

Sorry, not sorry, for saying FUCK so much. My blog. My rules. Deal with it.