Let’s get this right out in the open before we get into it. I love enforcers, toughness on an NHL roster, and lived to see Tony Twist, Cam Janssen, or Ryan Reaves just pummel someone for crossing the line. This is just different.

So, in the best case scenario for our health moving forward, please redirect your “You’d love a Tom Wilson on your team” blowhard bullshit speeches that die like a White Castle fart tossed into a super fan somewhere else. It doesn’t fit at all here. He’s bad for the NHL and should be suspended for a lengthy period of time. In addition, he doesn’t deserve to have the following during his suspension: well-made smashed burgers, French fries, good BBQ,  coffee without piss in it, and any source of hot water.

How many times does a guy need to do something stupid and completely out of line while still maintaining a job? There’s Zach Sanford on the second line any time during a season and Wilson skating up for a game to do something reckless. That’s my “oh shit, please no” list. Those two things.

I know what you’re thinking. I can’t smell it all the way over here in Princeton Heights. What did he do? Take a look below via the magic of space and Twitter.

First, I can halfway accept what went down with Artemi Panarin. That little dude tried to jump Wilson, a much bigger guy, from behind like a spider monkey. Wilson flipped him and pounded him. That’s just good old fashioned “wait for the bigger teammates to pile in” kind of tactic, Arty. Give him a shove, pray he doesn’t feel it, and skate away.

Secondly, there’s absolutely NO WORLD where I want to live that has Wilson punching a guy-who is already face down on the ice-in the face. The epitome of bush league work. Again, stash your “the Blues would love to have Wilson” propaganda. Get bent, rethink life, and get serious. Wilson is white hot garbage and only exists this season because the player safety board rep is George Parros. What did George do in his hockey days? Pound the crap out of people. Maybe punch a few people on the ice possibly, Georgie?

In case you’re still not convinced Wilson would be bad news on the most beautiful spring day, check out his NHL rap sheet, which is as long as my left arm.

The New York Rangers were right. He’s not fit to lead a Denny’s staff meeting, much less determine the severity of punishment for plays that can seriously injure people. What wise mind thought it was a wise idea to let a former enforcer determine player safety? Oh man, if a job was that easy and ill-fated to receive.

I love a good fight or tussle, even if it means all 12 players on the ice need to throw a punch. But there’s a right way and a painfully wrong one. The NHL is sending the wrong kind of message by slapping Wilson with a $5,000 fine. What is that to him? An extra gold watch he can’t around his wrist, which was gently slapped here. Pavel Buchnevich will be fine. He’s not going to wake up with a leg missing or anything. After all, he’s a hockey player!

But there’s just no room in the sport for that kind of nonsense. Honestly, what good comes out of that? A guy goes for a rebound that your goaltender couldn’t keep his mitt on, and you take him down to the ice. Fair as rain. You’re already on top of him, but decide to punch him in the face from that position just for good measure. Does that sound kosher to you? No way.

Suspend him for a few games. Take his stick and pads away. Only allow him in the press box if he eats cold pizza with pineapple on it and warm water left out in the sun for the entire game.

Tom Wilson sucks and he’s bad for hockey. Get rid of him at least for the reminder of this season and the playoffs. Send a message, you weaklings. A slap on the wrist doesn’t make a guy change. You can enforce rules on Wilson without neutering the sport. Try it out for a change.