Here’s What I Know, Volume 22: Where to find the best Chinese food in St. Louis, Christopher Nolan’s comments, and Waino goodness

It’s been a while since I just sat down and unleashed a stream of consciousness where I don’t have to worry about typing the word “fuck” and being fired, so let’s run over some topics real quick.

While St. Louis rages over the trade of Lance Lynn to the White Sox, allow me to tell you what I know.

~The best Chinese food in St. Louis is actually located in St. Louis County. Panda Chinese Restaurant, which needs a better name, is that classic hole-in-the-wall joint that you miss the first time driving down the road. It’s located in Woodbine Plaza in between First Watch and Domino’s Pizza. It’s the rarity where you will find outstanding food, great service, and cheap prices. Anything with chicken included is delicious, and their Crab Rangoons are outstanding. Nor too sweet or salty, they come 4 and 8 counts, walking that wire between too crunchy and too soft. Just right. Rule #1 in Chinese Food: You always get Crab Rangoon!

~Warner Brothers made a decision last week, and it’s pissing people off. Christopher Nolan sure isn’t a fan, telling the Hollywood Reporter that he and several others now work for the worst streaming service in Hollywood, after going to bed thinking they were working for the best studio in the world. While I respect the guy and love most of his movies, he’s missing the big picture. 2020 has been anything but kind to businesses, large and small. If he wants WB to hand him another $200 million to produce another head-scratching, time-jumping, headache-inducing thriller, he needs to adapt with the times.

Warner Brothers is doing just that, adapting and in the process, making the movies a lot cheaper for the masses to see-and trying to find a new way to make money post-pandemic. Families and a good portion of the world can’t afford to spend boatloads of cash on a single film. But people’s pay got slashed in half as a result of the move? News Bulletin: A LOT of people saw their pay slashed this year. As they say with the common cold, or a deadly fucking virus, it’s going around. Calm down, Chris. Movie theaters will still be open when Tenet 2 comes out.

~You don’t see George Clooney whining about the movie business. He has a big film coming out at Netflix this month. “The Midnight Sky” is exactly the kind of big budget, thought-provoking drama that Nolan aims for, and it will be seen by EVERYONE on Dec. 23. Adapt with the times or fade away.

~Adam Wainwright won the Roberto Clemente award this week, further cementing his status as one of the greatest living humans on Earth. The award is given to the player who best exemplifies an active presence in the community and gives his team a good name. Wainwright is just the latest Cardinal to do so, following Yadier Molina, Carlos Beltran, Albert Pujols, and others. He helped raise the money to bring 8 million meals to people’s homes in unfortunate times this year. He does this every single year, striving to help as many as possible. When he’s done playing, I only expect his efforts to increase. He’s the ideal model professional athlete for young kids to mold their athletic futures around.

~Does anyone want to come over and rake the rest of my leaves, which have now developed onto a crusty ice-patch combination that should become cement-like in a few short weeks? I figured it was a worth a shot.

~Eshom and Ian Nelms gave the cinema world one of 2020’s finest pleasures in “Fatman,” a film as ingenious as it is funny and entertaining. If you had Mel Gibson playing a grumpy yet resourceful old Santa squaring off against naughty kids and angry hitman like Walton Goggins’ Skinny Man on your 2020 Christmas movie bingo card, consider yourself a bearded savant. This movie is now available on Redbox and should be watched. You haven’t quite seen this before.

~Speaking of movies, does anyone have a light? As in, a way for my shoulders and stress to lighten up as the cascade of movie screeners, both indie and large, come flying into my email? I must not be an asshole yet, because I say yes to most of them-even if the time is not there to watch and review. A small studio publicist reaches out via Twitter Direct Message or email, telling you their film is important and needs to be seen, and you respond with kindness. If only this gig paid MORE money! Sometimes, I just want to watch what I want.

~It’s going to be 62 degrees tomorrow. Right now, it’s in the upper 30’s here in St. Louis. Weather doesn’t get more drunker than late fall/early winter here in the Midwest. One day, the sky and its inhabitants will make up their mind.

~I’d be willing to bet that the thousands of people who don’t wear a mask are also the misfit jackasses who don’t stop at red lights and pump-brake their way through a stop sign. The truth is people hate being told what to do, even if it’s life-saving. In the end, nobody cares and your so-called community is a lot smaller than you think. We are another pandemic away from officially being entered into a survivalist film plot.

Remember what The Joker said: “These civilized people, when the chips are down, they’ll eat each other.” 

~Once again, since I’ve shouted this over at KSDK enough, the Cardinals WILL NOT do much this winter. Retaining Wainwright and Molina will be it, even if they manage to do that. They are the franchise who have been dying for a reason to cut back spending and shake the low-hanging-fruit tree for sometime now. Note their furious action at the past few trade deadlines. Zilch! Expect that this winter. If you think they are going after Nolan Arenado, I have some prime real estate in Dubai to sell you.

~I’ve switched from Uber to Postmates this fall. Call it a COVID-19 reaction plan. But one of the cool parts about this new gig is being able to perform it with my dad. Yes, he’s my driver on most nights when I am delivering food. You cut the delivery and dropoff time in half if there is a driver. When I saw several other Postmates drivers doing it-having a helper tag along-I couldn’t resist asking my old man if he wanted to bring fast food to the masses. That’s a fact. Most of the food we deliver is fast food, or maybe less by the time it gets to your door. If you think there’s something out there just needed a large fry and McFlurry, you’re not wrong. If there’s a better way to make money than riding around town with your dad, bullshitting and cracking jokes, please tell me.

That’s all for now. Cheers and stay sane.

P.S. Stop buying all the toilet paper. You don’t use the bathroom that much and last time I checked, St. Louis wasn’t getting an inch of snow tonight.

 

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