South City Confessions: My wife is all the lightning I need

Some people say lightning can strike twice for certain people when it comes to love, but my wife is the only lightning I need.

Please allow me to dot on her for a minute.

She just made plan at her store. In case you don’t know, she’s the general manager of the Tile Shop in Sunset Hills. 2019 was a rough year for her and the store. Due in part to Toys R Us closing next door and other circumstances, my wife did everything a manager could do and still couldn’t hit plan. Let me enlighten you a little. If you don’t make plan, the paycheck is a lot smaller. I didn’t go to business school, but I know how sales and commission work. A happy ending is not guaranteed.

So far, Rachel is kicking 2020’s ass. She’s made plan both months and set to do so again in March. She rocks a 60 hour-per-week schedule. Six days a week for the past few months. And then she comes home and takes care of the family: our son, five pets, and myself. We make big meals, play some XBox, and have fun. A lot of times, a hard-working person will do a great job at work, but flunk the test at home. My wife doesn’t do that.

Oh, did I mention she’s beautiful? That too. Did I mention that she taught me how to cook? That too. But the most important thing is that she allows me to be me, all the time. She doesn’t mind when I scream at the laptop for not reading my mind as I type. She doesn’t throw a fit when I watch a movie screener at the dinner table. She doesn’t blink when I throw a monstrous tantrum about adulting and its sinister ways. She’s just there, all the time.

Here’s something you may not know. I told my wife I was going to marry her on our first date back on May 6, 2002. She thought I was nuts. I refused to confirm or deny it. It freaked her out a bit, almost sank the ship. She told me she was no picnic … and I told her I don’t like picnics.

Look, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows in marriage. You’ll fight until your head hurts. There will be easily visible buttons to press that you can’t pass up sometimes. Fights will go on like 15 round boxing matches. We don’t always make up at the end of the night, but by the next morning, we’re good. That’s marriage. Giving each other time and space to figure shit out, but being there when it counts.

Rae and me at Union

Being a good husband is about knowing how to heal a wound faster than a doctor. Emotional wounds need finesse. A shoulder rub, good laugh, or time spent talking at the table can do the trick. Sometimes, all you need to give is time. Shut the world off and have a day.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I do think there’s someone out there for everybody. Lightning may or may not strike twice; I sure hope it does for the people who suffered through unfortunate circumstances. Life is tricky and requires lots of patience at times when it’s not easy to come by. I swear there’s a payoff if you put the work in, and like parenthood, marriage does require hard work.

I may not know everything, but I know lightning struck for me nearly 18 years ago. One thunderstorm was enough for me.


Lucky guy

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