Here’s What I Know, Volume 16: Road trips, hotel gyms, and Cuba

Greetings from Atlanta, Georgia, let’s talk about a few things I know. Topics I am sure about and have no wiggle room on. The die on this hill assembly.

~If people could drive, the world would be a better place. If it’s not construction, it’s someone driving like a fucking asshat and stalling hundreds of people’s days in the process. If you can’t drive a car correctly, stay the hell home. I get it. Driving is hard. Go outside and see how hard it is. People don’t fail their test the first time for no reason. A nine hour trip to Atlanta turned into an 11 hour trip.

~Handcut fries aren’t easy to perfect. You can’t half-ass the fries. There’s nothing worse than a flimsy fry. I want French FRIED! Fry those potatoes. Fry em good! Edibles and Essential on Hampton does this perfectly. Other spots…do not.

~I know Ozzie Smith is a legend, but I still liked Edgar Renteria better. That lazy looking bastard could pick it and drive in 100 runs. He was clutch too.

~Unpopular opinion, part 2: I liked Gary Gaetti more than Scott Rolen. Gary looked like a truck driver woke up on a baseball field. He also won four gold gloves and could swing the bat.

~The new movie, Adrift, works because you really believe Shailene Woodley and Sam Claflin’s characters are in love. Without that connection, the true story fails.

~Women may not want to hear this, but you look better with less makeup and prep. Raw beauty is underrated.

~Burgers where the bread outweighs the meat are bush league offerings.

~Marcell Ozuna had 14 home runs on this date last season. He has 4 today. Swing alternation or not, the Cardinals didn’t trade for 65% singles. Get it going. The “it’s only such and such date” excuse period is over.

~Alexander Ovechkin is two wins away from his first cup. I’m thrilled for one of the best scorers of all time.

~Fuck You, Michael Rotundo. Have you heard about this 30-year-old fuckstick who had to be evicted by his parents from their home in New York? True story that is getting too much press. A millennial who won’t work, pay child support, or be useful getting handouts from strangers. What a grade A waste of space.

~Does Alex James really think Sandy Hook didn’t happen? If so, hit him in the head with a hammer and ask him again.

~Everest is an underrated movie. True story about Rob Hall and company. Same director as Adrift.

~Rene Knott and Frank Cusumano are good dudes that I’m proud to call colleagues. They also need their own podcast.

~Billions is the best shot on television and it’s not even close.

~In two days, I’ll be on a cruise ship to Havana, Cuba and the Bahamas. First time I’ve left the USA. I have no idea what to expect. St. Louis is what I know.

~Makers Mark is my go-to drink out right now-unless Tank 7 is on tap.

~Go watch Major League now.

~Wherever I go, I need a coffee joint and a gym. That’s it. Please hotels, give me a decent gym to get a workout in. You’re supporting health.

~Movies that get better every time: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and Silver Linings Playbook.

That’s it. I need to sleep before another 11 hour trip tomorrow. I’m taking my talents to South Beach.

Goodnight and take luck,


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