Month: June 2016

Random musings during an oil change 

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Setting: Starbucks cafe. 

Partner in crime: My son Vincent. 

I have 30-45 minutes to spare so let’s have some afternoon fun with a stream of consciousness. 

First off; how about them fucking Cardinals?! Yeah I said fuck. This isn’t ksdk so I can say mean words that upset people in certain zip codes. 

The Birds flew away from the nest ineptitude with a series win over the Giants and it was all about good pitching. Three games and solid starts all the way around. After a late nap on Friday against Johnny Cueto the bats came alive. At 30-27 the Cards are still shitty by the legendary standards their fans hold them to but baby steps were made. 

Since the Cards own the most playoff wins since 2000, fans can’t stand an average team. They want to sell parts in May. Close the season after 55 games. Done. There’s still time left and in case you forgot, there’s two wildcard spots and the Cards made a few impressive runs this past decade as a wildcard team. Keep the damn faith. 

Why do they do this? It’s easy to cast a team off. Better on the nerves. You don’t need to hold out hope. The fact is this 2016 team is bizarre. Their pitching is seesaw average but their bats are fierce. Their defense is ugly and their base running is elementary. They are impossible to predict but stick with them. Let them finish June, get halfway, and then the bandwagon fans have my permission to let their interest die. 

Rams Carelessness

For the first time since 1994, St. Louis has no football team to gauge or prepare for.  There will be no football in STL this year or next. Or the ten after that. 

That’s okay. Hockey and baseball are enough. I won’t watch much football this year. As a fan, they took my woman and my mistress. The Rams left and Peyton Manning retired. I’m not adopting a team. Sorry Chiefs fans. Sorry Jags fans. No thanks. I gave my restocked testicular fortitude to the Rams for twenty years. Got a super bowl out of it. That’s it. All I need. The truth I stopped giving a shit a few years back. When Stan bought his lot of land in LA. It was only a matter of time. 

I got better things to waste my time on. 

2016 lacks a dynamite film

In the sixth month of this year and no film has blown my tits off. Left me with that giddy feeling. No dynamic weapon yet. 

There have been good ones. Some of them even great or little more. 

13 Hours showed me Michael Bay wasn’t a complete waste of space. 

Midnight Special was a personal blend of ET and the Abyss mixed with Super 8. 

Civil War was one of Marvel’s best but it didn’t resonate like Dark Knight or Winter Soldier. 

Deadpool was hilarious but fleeting. 

There were others. Nothing outstanding. I’m still waiting for my Chef(2014 gem released in May). Waiting on a End of Watch(released in May 2012). A Purge Anarchy surprise. A sleeper slam like Killer Joe. A wide eyed tale like Martian. 

Maybe this summer will elicit something truly great. Maybe not. 

Muhammad Ali’s influence

A few more words on Ali. His influence was his greatest source of legacy.  Floyd Mayweather Jr. worked from the book that Ali built on opponent pre fight dissection. He taught fighters how to back up your words. He taught a nation how to speak up for yourself and stand strong. Save me the “he was a member of the Nation of Islam”. I won’t slam anyone’s religious beliefs. The people who get mad about a man not believing in their particular God can get bent. Get over yourself.  

Even when Parkinson’s robbed him of his physical gifts just two years after his career ended in 1981, he let the rest of his soul shine. There will be another like him. Just imitations. Rest easy champ. 

A word about David Freese. Last night in Pittsburgh, Pirates manager Clint Hurdle let the players sport penguins gear in practice. David Freese asked if he could wear a Blues one and got a look. Thanks Freezer. You can take the kid out of the Lou but you can’t take the Lou out of the kid. 

How serious am I about the radio? As the lovely Katie Kay Dallman pointed out to me a couple of weeks back, I passed up a chance to see my beloved Dave Matthews Band in Arkansas last month to do an extra night of We Are Live Radio. Those two nights of hosting a radio show on CBS sports radio proved how bad I want to do radio in the future. 

It has to do with a need to get my voice out there to an audience that doesn’t want to sit and read. It has to do with great guys like Chris Denman and Travis Terrell who gave me the chance. Radio is exciting and something I want in my future. Those two nights in May gave me and a few listeners a small peek into a future. 

Cards phenom Alex Reyes exited after 1.2 innings today. While he’s a white hot talent, the kid is young and only made four starts at Memphis. Give him time. There’s no need to rush a guy with that much skill. 


The kid is truly enjoying this oil change wait. 

There’s nothing wrong with resting Yadier Molina more. He’s only caught the most innings in baseball for quite some time. Save those knees. 

Mike Matheny is an expert at messing up the simplest parts of managing. 

Now that Banshee finished its legendary run on Cinemax, the must watch show is Kingdom. Yes Frank Grillo is in it but that’s only one of the reasons to tear into this MMA series. It’s DNA is marked in authenticity. If you like good drama, unexpected moments, great acting and some fights give it a shot. Audience network on Uverse. Channel 1114(114). 

Daddy realization. When your kid can function on his own but starts doing adult things like negotiate, work an IPAd, and cook his own food. “They grow up so fast” is the truest saying ever. 

Dream vehicle is still a truck. They are a lot of work but damn it a Dodge Ram is all this man needs. 

Iced coffee is always a good option but any coffee joint that can perfect a macchiato has my money. Four shots of espresso and some foam to ease the blow. 

Beer of choice at the moment. Stella Artois. A smooth drink and good year round. Also one of the healthiest beers on the market if you want to watch your figure and enjoy something without a light attached to its name. 

T-shirts are all I wear these days. The goodness of being a writer/stay at home parent is being able to grow a beard and having pants be optional for work every day. 

When you wear t shirts for a living, there’s a specific kind you grow to like. My favorite blend is the tri blend. Fine cotton, polyester and rayon. Ringspun cotton and modal are also nice fabrics. Yes I just went there. 

Closing comments and bits:

At this point I’m not voting. Please don’t tell me my one vote matters. 

Drivers ANYWHERE suck. Not just your city. 

Internet trolls are real people and sad ones at that. I’ve had 20+ accounts make a fine attempt to upset me by ragging on my family. Too bad their mom’s basement doesn’t have air conditioning. 

Band to listen to-Gaslight Anthem. Lead singers voice makes you feel everything.  

Show to watch later this year-Quarry on Cinemax. 

That’s all I got. Time to wrap this up. Thanks for digesting not this unprofessional random stream of thought. 

Muhammad Ali: Rest in peace, Champ

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“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”-Muhammad Ali

When it comes to athletes and legacy, there’s just one thing to really consider. What did you do for your sport and for every single kid or teenager who will eventually want to participate in that sport? Muhammad Ali inspired generations of boxers to be unlike any other fighter on the planet. He urged them to be unique, confident, and never shy away from the risks that life threw at you.

As Ali fought for his life Friday night at the age of 74-a fight he would eventually lose-I couldn’t help but think of one of his most famous quotes. Instinctively, I threw a spin on it and tweeted it out.

How about this for legacy? When it comes to boxing, Ali will always be mentioned first. He was the loud talking promo artist before Floyd Mayweather Jr. carved a career out of it. He was the man who stepped into the ring with the greats like George Foreman and Joe Frazier. Remember the Rumble in the Jungle? The documentary did it justice. For several rounds, Ali took all kinds of punishment from Foreman and suddenly turned the tables. He knocked Foreman out after a small sequence of precise punches. His brawls with Frazier were legendary, even if they were costly later on in Ali’s older age.

Ali fought for too long, falling on his sword instead of walking away when it was right. He burned out instead of drifting away, taking a pounding from Larry Holmes and Trevor Berbick in his final two fights. He was 39 when he last fought. What people forget were the thrilling pair of fights he had with Leon Spinks and the three knockdown battles he had with Ken Norton.  (more…)

Stanford Rapist Gets off Easy: Painful sign of our times

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Fuck you Brock Turner. You gutless piece of shit. What you did to an innocent 23 year old college student will never go away in the eyes of the right people. The law, including soft Judge Aaron Persky, decided you only needed six months of jail time for being found guilty on three felonies, including assault with intent to rape. Instead of getting the maximum of 14 years or even 3-5, you get six measly months. I can only hope someone inside gives you a friendly welcome.

Let me catch the rest of you up on the events. In January of 2015, a young woman took her sister to a party and woke up the next morning behind a trash can. She was missing underwear and was raped by a freshman. He ran off but was thankfully tackled by a pair of Swedes who were riding their bikes nearby. This woman would spend her night getting poked, prodded, and thoroughly examined by doctors. The feelings of her abuse would never simmer.

Judge Persky noted how more than six months of jail time would do too much damage to this young man, who was a noted swimmer. Yeah, too much damage for him but the woman he abused in the worst way will feel this for the rest of her life. She won’t be able to be touched, held, or stand close to another man for a long time. The closest people around her will tax themselves trying to make her feel safe. Her sister will feel terrible for bringing her to the party. Her boyfriend will be the uncomfortable shadow of a terrible memory. Thanks Judge for taking it easy on Poor Brock for invading a woman in the most uncomfortable way.  (more…)

Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor Fight: Not happening

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Let me get something out of the way before I rip into this fantasy rumor. I would personally love to see Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor fight….in the street. That’s right. Rocky 5 style!  Get the metal trash cans, dark alley, and bad beer ready because these two millionaires are scrapping. That would be cool and would shred Pay Per View records to pieces. Sylvester Stallone can be the referee. Now, let’s get back to reality.

Stop listening to Floyd, Dana White, McGregor, and any other knucklehead trying to pound click bait pieces on why this fight may, could, should, or might happen. Here’s a hint. It will never happen. This isn’t a movie. It’s real life and two men from different sports don’t step into the same ring. A hockey player doesn’t play in an MLB game, right? Football players don’t step on soccer fields. Yes, these two men compete in different sports. (more…)

Lebron James and Cleveland: Second place lifers 

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When I think of Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, I think of Dan Marino and the Miami Dolphins. The juicer subplot is James winning two titles with the Miami Heat during his sabbatical from Cleveland. Now that he has come back and playing in his second straight NBA Finals against the Golden State Warriors, it’s becoming more clear. They might just be forever second. Runner-up. Silver medal seated. Good job territory.

The Warriors kicked James’ Cavs around the court Thursday night. The final score was 104-89 but the sheet could have read a lot to a little. The Cavs looked like The Harlem Globetrotters out there. They were slow, clumsy and behind every play. It wasn’t just wizard Steph Curry dishing for four quarters. It was a supporting cast that includes Shaun Livingston. It looked like a can of red bull charging on against an old tin can of Folgers coffee.

Lebron didn’t help. He went 9-21 from the court and couldn’t improve. He shot bricks and was defended well. When everyone is lining up to stop you like you are an army, life gets hard. When it’s the NBA Finals, a candle burns brighter. The Cavs have a supporting cast but they needed their stud to take over and James didn’t. That’s the moral of his story. When his teams haven’t been good enough, he gets the blame. Thursday, he didn’t deserve all of it but will receive it nonetheless.

He ran into similar issues against the Boston Celtics and Orlando Magic years ago. He couldn’t break down the walls required and that was when he was averaging 35 points in the series. When he drops a measly 23 points Thursday and gets little support, the result is always going to involve the letter L.

Cleveland is a sad place to be for sports fans. For the past 50 years, their three teams haven’t won a championship. The Lebron struggles, the Indians collapse in 1997, and the Browns overall futility(when Johnny Manziel is your headline for off the field stuff, ouch). Watching the brilliant 30 for 30 ESPN film Believeland, it’s hard to not feel bad for Cleveland sports fans. Deserve is a big word but if any city needs something, it’s Cleveland. Remember 60 years ago when they were the industrial goldmine? Yeah, ancient history.

I’m sure the Cavs and Lebron will carve out a win or two this series. They have way too much size and skill to basically vanish into the night. They won’t win four games though. James can put on, remove, and put his headband on if he wants to but it won’t make a difference. He did an honorable thing in coming back to Cleveland to try and I bet he will get back to finals again but a team with better youth and overall skill in Golden State will be waiting. It’s more than just James and Curry, but for this casual fan of the sport, I see one standing in front of the other.

It’s no secret that certain things link these two men. Curry didn’t win his title until his sixth season. James bolted Cleveland after seven title-less seasons. The time might have come and Curry could have bolted but that never played out. James went to Miami and played  with his buddies, winning two rings instead of the promised six. He came back to make things right but I don’t think he will ever make it.

It’s double chilling to realize Curry and James are both from Akron, Ohio. I’m sure this has been reported 69,000 times on ESPN but it was intriguing for this new face to roll over. When James was just three years old, Curry came into the world in the same place. They probably crossed paths several times and thought down the road they could face off. Did James know that Curry would stand in his way of Cleveland royalty then? Without Curry, would the Warriors win a title last year and be three wins away from one now? I don’t think so. He’s a magical talent. So is James. Luck and destiny are tricky things folks.

You never know. James and the Cavs could make a comeback. They could resist defeat and defeat Golden State. It’s just not that likely. This is real life. Not fantasy.

Cleve-believe-land may not get a title from their beloved Lebron James. They may be forever a runner-up.

 

‘Weiner’ documentary reviews raw side of politics

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When in doubt, politicians shouldn’t tweet pictures of their body or text women other than their spouse. New York congressman Anthony Weiner is a living testament to that and the focus of Josh Kriegman and Elyse Steinberg’s documentary, “Weiner”, about his ill-fated 2013 New York mayoral run.

Documentaries are at their best when they present a topic you know little to nothing about and suddenly make that topic explode in front of your eyes. By the end of the movie, you are craving more material and needing to know more about the subject. Before I turned on “Weiner”, I knew little about this man. By the end, I couldn’t wait to hear more or see where he was at. This is a riveting and brutally honest look at a smart man undone by painfully poor decision making. I’m not sure anyone beats Weiner in the smartest dumb politician race.

IFC Films

When we first see Weiner, he is standing up for 9/11 rescue workers in the Barack Obama health care bill that wished to stop paying those heroic men and women. Weiner is a fast talking New Yorker who stormed into politics with a vengeance only to set his own career on fire. Remember the five minutes he got in front of Congress and basically lit a Will McAvoy like forest fire in that room by calling out Republicans for turning their back on the real heroes. He was riding high until he had to step down after a picture tweeted out of his account of his crotch burned everything he built to the ground. The worst thing about it was he lied at first and then admitted later. (more…)

From STL to Arkansas: The evolving job status

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I didn’t have a dream job in St. Louis. It was a decent paying gig and I did my best to make do without hating it. Ronnoco Coffee was the warehouse and I did a number of things for them. I worked the dock-unloading and loading trucks-as well as working in the production and picking areas. I drove the transfer truck and even roasted coffee for a few weeks. When you work in a warehouse, you do everything but sit around and count the squares on the wall. It’s busy physical work.

When it comes to warehouse grunt work, I’m a veteran. I’ve worked in six different warehouses for five different companies. Park 370 Schnucks, Senoret Chemical, Bommaritto Wines, Conway Trucking and Ronnoco. Each place has their own personal rigors and delights. You haven’t loaded a truck until you’ve pushed 60 skids of chemicals onto a 53 foot trailer with the driver sleeping inside his truck. I’ve driven a Yale, Toyota, Kawasaki, and a few other fork lift brands. The smell of propane in the morning is worse than a bad instance of gas from a football fan who loves bratwurst.

In December of 2014, my wife had an opportunity to acquire her own store. She was an assistant manager at the Tile Shop in Sunset Hills and had a chance to be a Store Manager but it would have to come in a different state. Florida and Alabama were possibilities. Then, Arkansas came up. Little Rock, Arkansas. It seemed harmless at first. A new beginning in a different place. The cover of the book looked great but if you flipped the pages inside too fast, the general climate of change would pass you by.  (more…)

‘The Nice Guys’ isn’t worth your money

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Walking into Shane Black’s new comedy detective flick, Nice Guys, I was ready for a wise cracking, hip, and easy going experience. An unofficial sequel to his 2005 sneaky hit Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The quiet beginning of the Robert Downey Jr. comeback was unexpectedly witty and hilarious, hitting all the right notes. Unfortunately, Nice Guys doesn’t hit any of its marks. It is silly, pretentious, and forgettable.

Ryan Gosling is a former cop turned private investigator who happens to be on the same case as tough guy freelance knockaround enforcer Russell Crowe and when they collide, the initial confrontation is funny. Gosling is the hapless victim and Crowe beats him up. Before two scenes can pass, the two are working the case together, looking for a missing girl who may or may not be a porn star. A State attorney(Kim Basinger) may be involved and there are others at stake as well, including Gosling’s character’s daughter.

What you see here is what you have seen in several other films. You saw it in Black’s Lethal Weapon script and the aforementioned Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Two opposites thrown together to work a case, grind each others gears, and eventually find a way to solve the case with a lot of dead bodies being dropped along the way. There’s nothing new here.  (more…)