Month: August 2015

“The Gift” shows a different shade of Jason Bateman

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The Gift’s greatest virtue is the same thing that keeps it from being a great film. The signature mystery at the center of the film keeps you off balance for the majority of the running time, but when it’s finally revealed, it’s a bit of a letdown. That doesn’t mean the movie is a complete misfire.

Writer/director/star Joel Edgerton’s directorial debut casts him the creepy Gordo, a man who shows up in the lives of a couple, Simon(Jason Bateman) and Robyn(Rebecca Hall), and sets off firecrackers when his past connection with Simon produces a few awkward encounters. To Simon, an ambitious businessman who doesn’t have a problem stepping on people for success, Gordo is a bug that can’t be squashed fast enough. To his wife, of course, the outsider is a fragile man who needs a friend. The juice is what happened between Gordo and Simon way back then that made this connection reappear? That drives the film and while the navigation here isn’t bad, the end result is questionable. (more…)

Justified Finale: A Perfect Ending

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“We dug coal together.”-Boyd Crowder

(SPOILERS involved)

A classic Elmore Leonard character was a good man with a violent heart. A man on the right side of the law who had the ability to do bad things and feel like his actions were justified in the end. One of the many reasons the FX show Justified, inspired by Leonard’s stories, which wrapped up its series finale on Tuesday, was able to be so good for so long was because it honored Leonard’s original vision for the character of Raylan Givens and never gave into network television norms or turned him into a retread of stereotype.

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The Rock Returning for “Furious 8” is Vital to its success

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The Rock and great action films go together like coffee and donuts. Like pizza and breadsticks. Like salty potato chips and french onion dip. Dwayne Johnson’s presence as a beastly hero type is a huge chunk of the reason the Fast & Furious films were kicked up a notch when he decided to shit on Vin Diesel’s day in Fast Five. The news of Johnson returning for the eighth film is the first sign the movie may work as well as the previous three.

Think of that first confrontation between The Rock’s Agent Hobbs and Diesel’s Toretto back in 2011.

Hobbs: “You’re under arrest.”

Toretto:”That’s funny. I don’t feel under arrest.

Hobbs: I don’t give a shit. I’m just here to bring two assholes whose names hit my desk.”

For those of you who have been hanging out in too many stinky French theaters for the past decade, that’s hardcore macho man preemptive asskicking talk. The kind of words shared between two bald sweaty tight t-shirt wearing lions who aren’t going to back down. The Rock changed the franchise, giving it something the first four films had lacked. A true adversary for Diesel. Someone who could lock horns with him(sorry Rick Yune and John Ortiz but you two simply didn’t cut). Diesel couldn’t sneeze and knock out Johnson, and that created problems for our favorite family oriented group of criminals.

There was also the big fight. The clash of the titans, as Chris Ludacris Bridges called it during the promotional tour. The Rock and Diesel going toe to toe and beating the crap out of each other. This is the rare movie event where the hype was matched and maybe exceeded by the actual result. An extended three room battle between two big men. Diesel, a former nightclub bouncer in New York taking on the real life Hulk himself, the former wrestler/college football defensive lineman turned movie star war mammoth, Johnson. Dwayne may have tried to shed the label of the Rock at times, but it’s hard to do when you see how huge he has gotten since he filmed Faster a few years ago.

The beginning of the Rock’s movie career saw him carry his wrestling weight into the cinematic universe. After a little while, he decided to supersize the muscle build, putting on 25 pounds for the underseen and quite enjoyable Faster. Since then, he has redesigned how Under Armour makes their outerwear. His F/F wardrobe consists of black work pants and a large supply of UA shirts that bulge out like a huge rubber band stretching and bending with each curl from a bodybuilder at a gym.

Since the Rock showed up, fought Diesel, and eventually joined his team, the Fast/Furious films were taken to a whole other level. Critics started to take notice. The box office gross went up. When The Rock joins the party, the circus comes to town in a big way. He isn’t just another bald headed menace. He is a whole other dimension.

Remember when Diesel’s Toretto saved him after their fight in Fast Five? Which action film junkie could not? Gunfire, carnage and exploding cars all around Diesel as he walked across a street in a ridiculously clean white t-shirt, extending his meat hook arm down for a wounded Johnson to grab onto and run for cover. It was like a wrestling match tag team action packed induced orgasm for fans of the two guys. An orgasm without a cigarette in sight so all you could do was dry yourself off.

The last two films have seen the Rock and Diesel hook up in different parts of the world and save the day, with the seventh edition showing the entire crew say goodbye to the founding father of tough guy talk and nitroglycerin, Paul Walker. With the blonde haired gent’s passing, the group will soldier on and make more loud, over the top yet wildly enjoyable spring thrill rides. They wouldn’t be complete without the Rock kicking ass in extremely tight fitting sports shirts. It’s like baking a batch of cookies without greasing the pan first. It’s like making decaf coffee. A Fast and Furious 8 without The Rock Says covering the poster in fiery menace would be like passing up a chance to marinate a 20 ounce ribeye.

After Furious 7 grossed a lazy billion, Fast and Furious 8 will ride into theaters on April 14th, 2017. Get ready by revisiting Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6, and Furious 7. Or you could just listen to the sound of a souped up Dodge Charger kick its horse legs out nearby.

The countdown to Bald Guy Mania has begun.

Pete Carroll’s Horrible Super Bowl 49 Call Will Never Die

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Remember Super Bowl 49? I can’t get it out of my head. Months later. It’s still a painful memory. First off, let me state that I don’t care for the Seattle Seahawks or New England Patriots at all. If there was a way for both of them to lose the Super Bowl, I’d have voted for it. However, in the end, the bigger evil was The Pats, a team I love to see struggle and fall short. Picture having to choose between two villains and picking the one to live that made sense in everybody’s world. What exactly happened? Let’s roll back to that fateful moment in time.

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Giancarlo Stanton: Missing in Action yet not forgotten

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Giancarlo Stanton has 27 home runs and 67 RBI. Oh, by the way he hasn’t played baseball this season since June 26th. Stanton is sex, guns, and rock n’ roll all rolled into one magnificent baseball specimen. His recovery from hand surgery is going slower than expected and while he is missing in action, his bat is still revered around baseball.

He is the one of the few baseball players in the world who can grab onto and sustain anyone’s attention, baseball fan or not. He’s not a throwback stallion, but he’s definitely a breed of hit the baseball as hard as you can and worry about my ISO later. The only reason someone would not know about the man is due to the decrepit team he earns a living playing for, The Miami Marlins. This is a team that can not fill its massive new stadium for its own life. One would think that when Lebron James left Miami, the city and state would belong to Stanton. He’s got the body of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, swings a baseball bat like Marvel’s Thor and has the magnetic smile and charisma of Derek Jeter. His appeal can be explained in “Alexander Ovechkin terms”. He’s an action star rolled into a rock n’ roll concert on a diamond.

At the heart of this game is a simple appeal. The allure of the home run and how far a human being can hit it. (more…)

Ronda Rousey is the Role Model We Need

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hi-res-e0789e52e396bb0929872035117a0d31_crop_northSay hello to the toughest woman on the planet. Ronda Rousey is exactly the role model this world needs. She’s a 28 year old undefeated champion in MMA and the woman who made Dana White a believer that women belonged in the UFC. You may have heard of her. She beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. out for Fighter of the Year at the ESPY’s in July and taunted him about not knowing who she is, even challenging him to a fight(he won’t take it if he appreciates his health). Rousey is globally fearless and that’s why we should love her.

Sure, she gets into an octagon and fights other women in a brutal MMA sport; wrestling, kicking and punching towards more wins in the UFC. Don’t discount the woman because she’s a fighter though. For a world that gets swept up in the all American game of football every fall/winter that’s damaging men’s futures one tackle at a time, a woman fighting for her cash isn’t bad at all. If folks can pay millions to see a wife beating Mayweather Jr. dance around a ring like Houdini, Rousey’s wicked style of destruction should be digested smoothly.

When I think of Rousey, I think about He For She, the campaign Emma Watson started to drive the dagger home for men and women sharing equal rights and opportunity. Rousey is a role model not just for other fighters that are coming through the ranks, but she is also a beacon of light for every single woman on this planet. The ones that work an extra hour to get prepared and make themselves look pretty for this world that still wishes to beat them down on a daily basis. Rousey is the reminder that if you are very good at a job, you should get paid no matter what sex you are. She’s a renegade and someone who created her own success. That’s hot.

There are few more pressured packed jobs than that of a fighter. Think about it. You have to literally punch and grapple your way to victory and every ring meeting is a chance to damage your brain or lose a piece of your bone structure. One bad decision could be the end of your career or at least the painful beginning of the demise. The general perception is that fighters aren’t needed and I beg the differ. I don’t want think of a world without people who create their way of living by using their own two hands. As Jim Lampley once said, people play “fighting” for a living. You stand, you fight, and that’s it.

Rousey hasn’t been handed a thing in her life. She was a daddy’s girl as a young girl, learning how to swim to the point of where she got pretty good at it. The direction her life could have went if her dad didn’t tragically take his life after a debilitating injury zapped the life from him is the opposite direction of a fighter. She could have been diving off a board at the Olympics. Instead, her mother taught her how to fight.

Rousey’s mother knew a thing or two about it herself.  AnnMaria De Mars was the first American woman to win the World Judo Championship in 1984 and is a master in the martial art. So when Ronda was hanging around the lowest of lows, her mother took her to the gym and taught her the most authentic and simplest technique. The ability to knock someone else out when needed. Trust me, it was a better option than the salon or Starbucks.

After competing in the Olympics herself and taking home a medal, Rousey had to scrap around for a while. There isn’t a lot of money to go around the fight game until you find the right match or bust your butt training. Ronda lived in her car while she trained. Working far out of the spotlight while she collected the right training. Training that would eventually revolve around one single move. The arm bar. The act of strangling one’s arm on top of your knee while on the ground, where the arm is then bent the complete opposite direction that it wants to go. Many opponents have found the need to tap out before Rousey separates the arm into two pieces. It’s brutal but it doesn’t come without warning.

Rousey has won all 11 of her fights and most of them end in an instant. Rousey is the Mike Tyson of MMA. The sport wasn’t quite ready for her method of mayhem and they still have a hard time digesting a woman winning a fight in the same amount of time it takes you to make a video on Instragram.

It doesn’t hurt that she is gorgeous, curvy and built like a Mack Truck. That may turn certain people off, but for others it’s a welcome sight. A woman brandishing her skills and youthful powerful beauty in a ring instead of a man. The people who are intimidated by Rousey badly want to be as confident as her. They whisper to themselves after they denounce her in front of their friends, “man I wish I could be so fearless.” She’s graced movie screens, fighting alongside Sylvester Stallone’s Expendables and against Vin Diesel’s car heisting crew in Furious 7 this past spring. Soon, she will shoot a film with Mark Wahlberg. Unlike some crossover star athletes, Rousey doesn’t lose focus. It helps that she’s struck a good balance between a Tommy gun temper and supreme confidence.

Rousey also isn’t afraid to say what’s on her mind. She is a hot take quote machine, and never fails to shoot a journalist or opposing fighter straight. When an opponent tried to make a knock at her father, Rousey simply stated she has to make that woman suffer. Rousey can zing you with a jab or a one liner, and that only broadens her legend. People don’t just want a undefeated record with their fighters these days. They want a personality and Rousey’s is authentic, free spirited and quite direct.

A week ago, Rousey destroyed her latest victim, Bethe Correia, a Brazilian fighter in 34 seconds. The weakest fighters always throw the biggest punches outside the ring before shrinking inside the ring. When Rousey’s fist hit Correia’s nose, the only words uttered were “please stop”. I expected Correia to tap out, like I expect Jason Statham to win in the end of all his action films.

If Watson wanted to blaze a trail with her He For She campaign, she should let Rousey drive the chariot of fire. The woman is everywhere and here all at once, and she isn’t going anywhere.

Prepare to see a lot of Ronda Rousey. Just don’t make her mad. She is a beacon of light for a world of women fighting for equality every single day. I don’t have a hard time liking that. Do you?

12 Things About the LEGO Documentary

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After The Lego Movie became the cool crossover kids/adults flick a couple years ago, all everybody could talk about was legos and how inventive and cool they were. The thing is, the toys have been a global phenomenon for years now and the documentary, A LEGO Brickumentary, tells the story of how they came to be and their infinite reach. While the documentary, directed by Daniel Junge and Kief Davidson with voice work from Jason Bateman, is cool and provides an introspective look into this world, it becomes a labored bore around the 45 minute mark. So if you don’t want to spend the seven dollars on Itunes or the money in theaters, here are 12 things I learned from this feature.

1. The toy originated in Denmark in 1916 and comes from the Danish phrase “lay well”. Started by a carpenter named Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen who built a wood shop to build toys. The Legos first came together in 1947 via a plastic molding machine. The Danish endeavor become a global phenomenon.

2. The key idea was a Lego system of play, which came from Kjeld’s son and was centered around “stud power”, the pieces that hold the blocks together. This system soon grew into mini figurines with the common goal, “How do I make this work?”

3. Theme sets such as play sets like pirate ships and space ships catapulted the company. Licensed themes like Star Wars and Harry Potter really launched the company even further.

4. The company, still in Denmark, produces 100,000 pieces a minute.

5. Designers can’t believe this is their job. “It’s like being a child the rest of my life.” They say the structures and ideas all start with a story, like a kid using his imagination to build.

6. Jamie Berard is one of the industry’s best designers. “How long can this last?” is something he utters to himself every day. He found his calling when he joined a group of hardcore builders he found in a store and got spotted by the creator himself. He got an internship at LEGO and has been one of its most respected builders ever since. He isn’t even 40 years old yet.

7. The directors of The LEGO Movie used a large model for their live action scenes with Will Ferrell and his son towards the end of the movie. The model took three months to assemble and a group of people called “master builders” did this. If the phrase sounds familiar, it comes from the constant theme in the movie, as Chris Pratt’s everyman Lego character is destined to be…wait for it..a master builder.

8. It’s therapeutic for people like NBA star Dwight Howard, musician Ed Sheeran and the South Park creators. Ellen DeGeneres once surprised Howard with a life sized Lego figurine of himself. When he is on the road playing, Howards’ assistants have several sets waiting for him when he arrives. For Trey Parker, putting together Lego toys is great because it’s all about following instructions and he doesn’t have to create.

9. You think Comic Con is cool and super popular? LEGO can play in that world too. Events such as Brickcon. Brickworld. Brickfair draw from hundreds of thousands from all around the world every year.

10. Delegation is a tool in this business. There are several groups for kid, teens and adults. Lego parts work like stocks. Supply and demand. Certain pieces cost cents and others dollars. Six bricks gives 915 million different options but the Lego system is an infinite universe. You don’t need a dictionary to play. Only a system and a language according to its builders.

11. Derby races and baseball stadiums are the new sensation. Large skyscrapers are fossils and amateur builds.
A rendering of Stephen Hawking went viral recently. Like the pieces themselves it’s a burgeoning world.

12. In 1999, the company’s stock and sales went down. When they got too easy to build, the desire lessened. The company got better by listening to the community and getting more interactive. Lego robots from an MIT professor put the company at a crosswords. They could have sued the company for rights but instead went with it. For once they were open to ideas outside of their building. LEGO architecture came from outside LEGO and according to one builder, created an energy instead of being a problem.

All of this from a humble carpenter in Denmark. The constant theme of LEGO is pushing the boundaries. Nothing is impossible. If you want people to know more about space, builders create models after objects you’d find in space. Everything in this world is built from something else. That’s the LEGO company. So many things can be built from a single toy.

Is this documentary a theater worthy adventure? No. Save it for home. LEGO fanatics will find it wonderful and casual observers may revel in the fact that a building as tall as them can be built in mere hours by a kid a quarter of their age. Some may find it boring, but everybody should digest the findings above. If you do partake on this adventure, you will build a newfound respect for this toy company.

Is Peyton Manning overrated?

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Is Peyton Manning overrated?

Now I am sure AFC conference rivals of the Denver Broncos can pick a clear side here. I really wanted to dig into this question being a Manning fan and someone who truly believes the man is great but missing a Super Bowl or two from his legacy? Is he overrated? What makes a player overrated? Let’s dive in while the kettle is fresh and hot.

Peyton Manning has one Super Bowl championship to his name and a ton of regular season awards. When it comes to regular season passing records, Manning is either on top or coming up alongside #1 or #2. He is there so there is no need to establish all his glossy stats but let’s provide a quick check. (more…)

Jon Bernthal: Netflix finally lands the real Punisher

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Ladies and gentlemen, Netflix’s Daredevil just graduated towards into Truly Badass Territory. TBT my friends! Versatile actor and owner of one of the best noses in show business, Jon Bernthal, will portray Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, in season 2, set to begin filming later this summer.

Look, season 1 was solid. Charlie Cox and Vincent D’Onofrio set up an intriguing chess match in Hells Kitchen and the fights were brutally great and the supporting cast was fine(except for Foggy, he sucked). Bernthal’s entry as Castle just fits and is one of those casting moves that resembles a home run being hit and the batter executing the most lethal bat flip of all time.

Since Frank Grillo is Crossbones in Marvel’s universe already and all the the choices are lame(Thomas Jane apparently retired to DoNothingVille), Bernthal is a great choice for several reasons but I will lay out a few here while the crumbs are still dropping.  (more…)

The 1 Year Anniversary Death of Michael Brown will cue stupidity

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Look, I have nothing against a good old healthy protest. People get mad, come together on one cause, formulate a crowd and action, and don’t hurt anyone. The foundations of this country were built on healthy protests. Martin Luther King Jr. marched with protesters. Other groups marched for their civil rights. It’s positive and healthy. However, with the one year anniversary of Michael Brown’s death ringing in this morning, the healthy ideas will be tabled for more stupid actions. The followers, supporters and memorial candle holders of Brown and his family will probably unleash havoc on Ferguson tonight.

The word around the city is there will be loud actions and that’s unfortunate. That’s the wrong way to get your message across. When people start vandalizing property and burning cars and buildings, their purpose is lost. It’s tarnished and weak. (more…)