Let’s Put A Smile on That Face

Hey folks,

Allow me to step in here and shed some light on a bunch of issues that will thankfully have NOTHING to do with Ferguson. What is happening to my northern city limit doesn’t need my fingerprints on it. I will only say this. Protesting is a LOT different than rioting and this isn’t the way to do it. Governor Nixon put on kid gloves when he called in the State Troopers. When The National Guard marches in, the fun will really begin. That’s all I got. Politics and wild maniac activity is for alderman and paid media to deal with. Not this bald South City Lou resident. So let’s begin. The following words may not put a smile on your face but they will brighten your Monday morning with thought, naughty language and a few brazen ideas. This list has no sense of real order so watch out.

  • Baseball season is nearly a month from completing its regular season. Where the hell did this season go? It’s more like where the hell did my fingertips go? Quarterbacks take their offensive lineman out to dinner. I will be treating my keyboard to a vacation when the Cardinals conclude their action this fall. Being a baseball fan is hard enough. Being a writer for the sports adds gray to the face.
  • I watched some preseason football on Saturday with the Rams and will admit it held my interest for exactly 30 minutes. Preseason football is more exciting than spring training because there are more spots available on the starting roster on a football team. Young kids fresh out of college bashing skulls with a few minutes of playing time to impress the coaches and make the team. Sam Bradford looked good. Michael Sam made a few good stops. Overall, the defense looked rough around the edges and the offense mustered 7 points. Isaiah Pead tore his ACL but I don’t think he had much of a chance to begin with so see you in 2015 young man. Bradford escaped without hurting himself. That’s 2 games down and 18 to go to keep Sam on his feet.
  • The Knick on Cinemax is exactly the kind of hospital show I desired. It saves you all the melodrama and relationship bullshit that is dished out on Grey’s Anatomy and other kid glove medical dramas. Director Steven Soderbergh and star Clive Owen are trying to teach us something about the revolution of surgery and the breakthroughs it made right around the start of the 19th century. In 1900, set in New York and with a story centered around Owen’s brilliant surgeon John Thackery. The opening scene places our protagonist in a brothel where the fumes of opium fill the nostrils of its clients. Owen is so good here, carrying the black wavy mane of hair and a mustache that could make Wyatt Earp look in the mirror. Thackery gets in a carriage, asks for the long way and calmly shoots cocaine into the middle of his toes because what is a brilliant surgeon without some drugs flowing through his body. As he tells a young nurse later on, “there are our lives inside the hospital and our lives outside the hospital. Those two should never intercede.” Owen is so damn good at playing this role of the anti-hero. He can act with his eyes alone but his words penetrate with every line of dialogue. The supporting cast is noticeable and good but don’t be fooled, this is Owen’s show. Cinemax started slow with Strikeback(sloppily edited war action drama) and Hunted(decent if forgettable spy flick) and blasted onto the scene with breathtaking ballsack swagger with Banshee. The Knick kicks it up a notch.
  • I have a legit man crush on Miami Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton. He looks like a king and swings a bat like Thor. He hits baseballs a long way and looks like he is having fun doing it. He should have been in handcuffs tonight because he murdered a baseball today.
  • I love Twitter and you all know that. Tonight, I got a nice tweet from the director of HOURS, the Paul Walker flick I reviewed on here last week. He said he appreciated my review and may be up for an interview. His name is Eric Heisserer. Surely it isn’t Scorsese but I appreciate any interaction with a filmmaker. Especially one who churned a performance as powerful as the one Eric got out of Walker in his final days. Twitter is a safe haven for people looking to connect. Professionals go there. Writers go there. People live there. I am a Twitter addict. Proud. Facebook is the place I call go to for a booty call once in a while. Twitter is work and play. Facebook is all robotic work.
  • Joe Kelly got roughed up in his Fenway debut. He gave up 7 earned runs and didn’t last 5 innings against Houston. The young man will soon find out that it’s not as sunny to pitch in a hitter’s ballpark. Matthew McConaughey was at the game. He would wise to advise Kelly to simply keep on living.
  • I get people who still don’t like the trade. Once again, I will break it down simply yet finely. John Lackey is a big time veteran pitcher who has closed out two World Series runs. He is cut from the same breed as Chris Carpenter. Lackey broke up with his pregnant wife. He is a bastard. He hates bullshit. He is a Texan strike throwing machine. He fits right in here with all the nice people and A.J. Pierzynski. Kelly may be good in the long run or he may get ripped apart in Boston. Allen Craig is a 30 year hitter who may recover from a foot injury or he may be destined to .260, 12 HR, 65 RBI seasons until he collapses in right field. Lackey is a finisher and the Cards get him(no way out of it for Lackey) in 2015 for the fair wage of 500,000. Lackey, his agent and John Mozeliak shook to that before the deal was signed. Wainwright, Wacha, Lackey, Lynn, Miller/Martinez/Garcia in 2015. DAMNNNN! The only people who truly whine about the Kelly trade are women, kids, and fans of people who wear glasses and play sports. Get over it.
  • Lebron James did the ice bucket challenge. So did Mike Matheny and Kermit the Frog. I like that it raises money for people but it’s ice people. Not hot coals.

  • What’s the worst thing about going to my dad’s to watch premium cable? A stormy night that knocks out his Dish Network. 40 minutes into a show and it suddenly goes out. I lay down, fall asleep and wake up to find a TV that is playing just fine. However, I love hanging at my folk’s house. That never gets old.
  • Near accident experience. Leaving my parents house. A man is sitting up against the traffic light on at the top of the ramp to enter the highway. He mockingly waves me onto the highway and I pull onto the ramp. Now, I had just woke up 30 minutes earlier and wasn’t really firing on all cylinders. As I pulled down the ramp I had to look back and see if there REALLY was a man there. There was and when I looked forward his stalled car was parked in the middle of the one lane entrance ramp. Due to my super ninja reflexes I avoided it. It could have been bad or it could have been the end. That’s life. Don’t just keep your eyes on the road. Keep your eyes on the road in front of you.
  • I am pretty good at softball. In my doubleheader on Thursday, I collected a hit or a walk in every plate appearance, including a pair of doubles and a near over the wall home run. I scored from second on a groundout and took second on a single barely out of the infield. I play the game like a rebel because I know I am not good enough to play baseball so this softball thing I have to do pretty well. I played right center and left field. Made a couple diving catches and a ton of straight up two hand grabs. The outfield is a dangerous place in softball. Guys and gals using aluminum bats sending rockets from an underhanded toss every other pitch at your head. I am pretty good at softball.
  • Stanton statistic note. He has 148 home runs and he is only 24 years old. Ridiculous. He is hitting .295 with 32 homeMiami Marlins v Colorado Rockies runs and 88 RBI on August 18th and he also gets on base at the tune of .398. He has struck out 138 times but he has drawn 77 walks. A special player ladies and gents. Too bad he plays for a crowd of 15,000 every night. Terrible Miami fans. That joint has two World Series in the last 17 years but still can’t generate a fanbase. Those goofy looking uniforms don’t help. The man would look nice in Cardinal Red. That’s all. They have as good of a chance at trading for Stanton as I do of getting an interview with Jason Statham.
  • The Expendables 3 is easy going action fun especially for kids like who grew up on Stallone and Arnold. They are basically going against the flame and convincing themselves they can still get it done at an old old age. Sly can still do it but the movie is worth seeing for the work put in by the real crazy Mel Gibson.
  • I am watching Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. Never mind what the comic book adaptation entails. Just remember this fine woman is in it. sin-city-eva-green-poster-1__140529181318
  • If you are wondering why Robin Williams is still being talked about, consider the body of work he left behind. An Oscar win for Good Will Hunting. The famous roles in Aladdin and Hook as well as Jumanji which all kids and now adults remember. The comic genius displayed in Mrs. Doubtfire and Birdcage. The instrumental power he brought to Good Morning Vietnam and Dead Poets Society. The shine he put on shit like Patch Adams. The man was special and care about people. He just didn’t care enough about himself.
  • The Blues return to action very soon. Their preseason is not being talked about enough. Call me crazy but I look forward to hockey more than football. It’s close but there’s something about hockey that takes me back to high school where I dared to strap on the skates. When you play something that never leaves your head, the feeling is there years later. Hockey is a special sport.
  • Hell on Wheels on AMC is the latest show I caught up on. The building of the Transcontinental Railroad is the backdrop for a story of revenge. Anson Mount has the role of a lifetime as outlaw/railroad boss/gunslinger/many other things without enough time to list them and his name is Cullen Bohannon. Mount does a ton with minimal dialogue and can also act with his eyes. Colm Meaney, Common, Robin McLeavy offer fine support and this western is only gaining steam in Season 4.
  • What else? I am drinking organic coffee along with my regular coffee. Hint….organic coffee saves you the acid, BP rise and dehydration and gives you more of a boost. It’s not just stats. It’s for real. Beer of choice right now is Shocktop but I would die for a Rogue Dead Guy Ale off tap at Dewey’s.
  • Also, my son Vinny turns 3 in less than a month. That’s right. This mad man has a kid who is three years old.

That’s all I got for now folks. Hopefully this strain gives you something to work on. More to come later. The head is empty and the hands are tired. Good morning to all the souls brave enough to help break it.


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