Whatever Happens, Follow Me(A Quick Plunge)

Time for an anything goes round of chat.   I write.  You read and the world keeps rotating on its axis.   Things that I normally wouldn’t say even though we think them.  As I work on a piece on Jason Statham for my movie website, here are a few things to think about.   

Cards Fans, Chill out.  Attention all Cardinals faithful, take a seat and get a notepad out.  Write on it.  I will not panic. I will wait and be patient.  While 5-3, my fellow die hard’s will lose their shit after today’s murky home opener gut shot.   The Cubs walked into Busch Stadium, watched the World Series videos and recap, respected the presence of the Cardinals legends on hand, and then promptly dealt the Cardinals a beating.    Adam Wainwright got scorched for the 2nd time this season early on, and gave up 8 runs for the second time in his long career.  After starting 5-1, the Cards have dropped 2 in a row.   Tough business if you don’t understand baseball.  This is why hockey fans get restless.   Sure, baseball is slow and requires patience.   However, it’s more than that.   Baseball happens every day and lifts you up constantly and leaves dents in your psyche.  It’s the bittersweet factor.   Every day is a chance to build it back up or break it down further.  Baseball is a game of anticipation, patience and attrition.   Give it time.  I don’t need to go over the details.   Waino gave up 4 runs before the Cards found their bats and after 3 innings it was 8-0.  The end result was a 9-5 loss but there are no reasons to panic.  A few related topics in Rogues in Red land.

*I will state again.  As David Freese misses the game today, the growing suspicion is there.   If the “old bodies” can’t stay healthy, this team will be doomed long term.   Chris Carpenter has no rehab assignment in site and isn’t throwing.  Lance Berkman pulled a calf muscle on Wednesday and is out until Tuesday.   David Freese hurt his right hand in an at-bat yesterday.   The one thing I hate about baseball is all the minor injuries.   The Cardinals have dealt with 3 injuries this month that nobody can claim as surprising.

*Lance Lynn is a pleasant surprise but don’t fall in love.  He is a replacement starter who will get plenty of time if Chris Carpenter misses months instead of weeks.  I am warning about the reliever turned starter effect.   Lynn started in Memphis, started in STL in 2011 for 2 starts but worked mainly out of the bullpen.   He went to the rotation in wake of Carpenter’s nerve injury and has put up a couple decent starts.  Lynn is a second version of Kyle McClellan, but sharper and with more poise and ability.  I just warn getting too invested because there’s an innings wall scare that will set in during May and Lynn will get roughed up.   I love his potential but fear his inevitable downside.

*Jason Isringhausen is on the Los Angeles Angels with Albert Pujols.  Here’s to Albert Pujols picking the tab in LA while Izzy provides the kleenex and tampons.  Irony is a funny thing in sports.

*Three games and you can tell Mike Matheny is leaning on the farm system recruits.  A good thing and bad tasting at the same time.  Matt Carpenter is playing for Lance Berkman, Lynn for Carp and so on.   Memphis lineups are appearing more often and that could be Matheny working his bench or the presence of Chris Mahoney on the bench.

*The offense will carry this team early on.   The pitching is looking spotty and rough.  When Kyle Lohse and Lance Lynn are your best starters, something isn’t working right.

Don’t you hate it when you get genuine wood down below and its not a good time.  That’s right.  A boner.  Lead pipe formation.  The beginning of the end for erections.   There you are, getting turned on in a grocery store and all you can do is start naming hardened objects you’d like to try.   Genoa Salami.   Cucumber salads.   Banana peels.   When you are at home and get suddenly frisky with the wife for a few minutes, and someone walks into the room and you say, damnit I wish the school shootings would stop because it’s the first thing to come out of your mouth.   Never mind the penis down below that could get a part time job at Lowes slicing lumber.   It’s a part of every day because men think about it all the time.   It’s in our blood and part of the DNA makeup.   Sex.  Naughty things.  Mass destruction.   When you get past the dangers of unplanned pregnancies and wrongful flesh stabbings, a harmless boner is as lethal a mood changer as anything.   It’s there,  and no matter how hard we try, men can’t blame it on the pleats or the pants store.

Speaking of legendary brain dead cocksmen news team leaders, Anchorman 2 has been green lit by Paramount Pictures.   Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s salute and sarcastic hand swipe at newsroom personalities and news channel broadcasts.    This is a cult classic and divides people.   Some like it for being completely outrageous in channeling its humor and some don’t find it funny at all.   Ferrell’s Ron Burgundy, the chauvinistic womanizing news anchor who comes off as barbaric and stupid yet hides a deep love for scotch, dogs and strong women.    The first time I saw it was in a theater with friends after midnight and we laughed so hard the breathing airwave in our throats gets clogged.   The next few times I started to laugh more than others and memorized lines.   You know that you like a movie when you laugh at parts others don’t.   You have your dad watch it and you are sitting there hoping for him to suddenly lose his mind laughing at the exact moment you did.   It’s the start of a infatuation with a movie.   Ferrell was onto something and has been his entire career.   Quietly mocking types with his movies.    News anchor, Nascar driver, basketball legend, and discoverer, Mexican gangster.   They don’t always rock the ballpark, but Ferrell is ambitious with his comedy.   There are no boundaries.   Anchorman 2 promises more dirty newsroom sentiment, a bear sightning, a love of scotch, the appearance of Sex panther cologne and a news team so unstable and dumb they come off as cult legends.   This is really happening.

Anchorman Quote-Freshening up the uninvited or parties who chose to avoid this genius comedy the first time.

Ed-the network wants more diversity.
Intern-What’s diversity?
Ron Burgundy-I believe diversity stands for old wooden ships used in the civil war era.
Ed-I don’t think the network cares about old wooden ships, Ron. We need a woman on staff.

People I hate.   Old people who believe young people should be able to recuperate faster after busy work because we are young.   What a crock of shit!   I get this every day at work along with 50 year old children, retarded truck drivers who can’t speak English and a disjointed staff.   Old men think we are a generation of pussies because we use touch screen phones, dial up facebook, like reality television and whine like little children.  For the most part they are true.  However, old people forget how damn bitchy they are and unload their old grief on us.   We don’t care about World War II, gas prices or the cost of dinner.   We don’t drive stagecoaches anymore around town.   Old people who complain need to be glad they are still breathing.  When the world is invaded, their old ass will move so slow we may use them like smoke screens.  I respect my elders as long as they respect what I am doing here and give me my space.  I don’t need a story from a 69 year old with bad breath who never stamps a point on their epic tale.   Back off and quiet down because as far as I’m concerned, fossils don’t talk.  A guy at my work who resembles the love child of Clint Eastwood and Mickey Rourke tells me all the time how weird this world is.   One day it was about the internet.  “You know, Dan, what is it about the internet?  It’s called google or Internet Explorer.   I want to look up something and not go exploring.  Jesus christ!”  I also deal with religious old people.  Telling me to find the lord or else I will be damned to hell.   I have two words for them and its “fuck off” and get a clue.  If there is a god around here, I don’t like his work.   I don’t like what I see.  And just for the record, I helped make my kid.  Big GOD had nothing to do with it.  Stop it with that as well older folk.   I guess what I am trying to say here is put a cork in the young people hate, old dudes and ladies.  We own this world now and trust me, for every bit I love Clint Eastwood, I hate his replicas telling me to quiet down or stop working so hard.   It’s getting old.

Blues Falter in Game 1 and lose the momentum of their home ice advantage.  The home team dropped the first game in 2 overtimes, 3-2 to the Sharks and lost it.    There were a lot of things that went right in Game 1 and things that need fine tuning.   Jaroslav Halak made 30 saves and did everything he could to produce a winner.  The goaltenders are helpless to a deteriorating Blues defense.  The D-Men aren’t clearing the puck from the defensive zone, allowing way too many shots in front of the net and giving away tons of coverage to the Sharks.   There is only so much a goaltender can do.   Halak played very well and the Blues defense broke down late.  Patrik Berglund, the prodigal son full of Swedish talent and built to take over a game, scored 2 quick 3rd period goals to give the Blues a lead that evaporated before the last minutes of the frame.   Berglund is a 220 pound body who needs to use his body and reach to get in a goalie’s face and put a hurt on their defense and last night he did it.   Andy Mcdonald’s rush down the lane and pass to Berglund for goal #2 was the highlight of the night, midway into the third period.   After, the Blues took their foot off the gas and allowed the Sharks to climb back into the game.

*On the sour point, Chris Stewart continues to go bad and look useless.  Stewart is pulling a Brad Boyes and disappearing after emerging as a goal scoring source last season in Scottrade.   Stewart is a 3rd line grinder who is making plays that are below his pay grade.   When he makes a good check or grinds out a shift, that isn’t a big deal.  If Ryan Reaves or Scott Nichol did it, the crowd would go nuts.  Sticking up for your teammates and throwing your body around is great but Stewie needs to produce more goals.   Please.

*Ken Hitchcock is holding out Chris Stewart in Game 2, which is a good move because he isn’t doing his job.  Matt D’Agostini is being inserted in the lineup for Stewart.  The bad move is Hitch putting in Crombeen for Ryan Reaves, who is a better overall hockey player and a lot better fighter/hitter/presence.  Bold moves for the Hitch after the disappointing end to Game 1 but a shock treatment for a team needing to win to avoid a hole.

Please don’t make the mistake of doubting this team’s hunger to win.   While they lost Game 1 and you don’t get any points in the playoffs for reaching overtime, the Blues are playing with an intensity unmatched in this league.   While their systematic approach can break down at times, this team wants to win and plays like a live wire.   Doubt everything but their hunger.   This may be a “we know” statement, but worth putting out there because the simple things can be forgotten on the big stage of the playoffs.

*The first week of NHL playoff action is genuinely exciting action.  Easily the greatest action of any sport is NHL playoff hockey.   The intensity, do or die attitudes, the coaching on display, the fans impact and the overall grit and physicality.  The real warriors come out in April and May in hockey.   Games change.  Players rise or fall.   Fan satisfaction only grows.

Time is up.  Choppy, spontaneous yet driven to entertain, this blog post is finished.   Just enough to keep the interests and maintain the eyes.   I will be back with another quick dispatch from STL Southland cyber space city, but for now this is all I got.

Enjoy and have a good night,

Dan L. Buffa



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