(older movie reviews with a new coat of paint)

“God gave me many gifts and one of them was the ability to knock somebody the fuck out!”-Paul Doyle(Dwayne Johnson)

Michael Bay takes wild comedy to a whole new level and unleashes the outrageously vast talents of Wahlberg and Johnson in his “small” movie about bodybuilders seeking the rich and famous life in Miami in the 1990’s.  People forget that Bay is capable of bigger and better things than staging a robot war around Shia Laboeuf.  Here, he makes a movie that makes The Hangover seem like Little House on the Prairie.  Wahlberg is Daniel Lugo, a muscle head who wants to live life on the other side of the fence, where the dollar bills grow like grass on the lawn in front of mansions.  To do that, he schemes to rip off Victor Kershaw(Tony Shalhoub), a rich prick who cares little about fitness yet thinks he owns the world.  Joining Lugo are Paul Doyle(Johnson in full throttle hilarity mode) and Adrian Doorbal(the always reliable Anthony Mackie).

Kidnapping, extortion, and murder join the party and things go very very bad.  Bay doesn’t forget to remind us in a scene involving a cokehead barbecuing body parts that this is a “true story”.  That only adds to the enjoyment and takes the entire film to another level.  Pain and Gain’s plot carries the same energy of a cocaine addict.  Highs, lows, craziness, over the top events, unpredictable actions and a paranoid meth addict ability to stun the audience. (more…)