Back in the day before I picked up the media weapon and fired it like a lethal weapon to the vast corners of cyber space, I was a ranting maniac on the email circuit. Emails were sexy once. Hotmail to be exact. Yeah, that email service that looks about as cool as MySpace right now was my home to unleash 3,000 worded long winded and epic rants about sports, film, personal stories and also “Fuck You” lists. Whatever I wanted. Anytime. Mostly once a week. No editor. No website. Just a need to impose my will without thinking twice.

Since I made the jump over to gmail as much, but I still keep the hotmail email like an old rifle stored in the closet gathering dust. Like Batman walking over to his old batcave, I stumble over there from time to time and check out the drafts, saved emails and volleys between friend when they responded. PJ, Derek, Jimmy, and others. You know who you are, you inglorious bastards. Today, I was hanging out there and thought I’d dip back into the drafts and legendary sent packages and compose a greatest hits section. Volume 1 because I sent over 1,000 rants before I picked up the Dose of Buffa WordPress in July, 2011. So, without much further bullshitting, I present the first batch. Now would be the time to click out of this.

BAD MOODS SUCK(8/22/2011).   The only thing worse than a bad mood is spreading it around so others can get a piece of it.  My idea is, if you are in a shitty mood and don’t feel like dealing with the outside world, find your personal cave, go there, and leave everyone alone.  People really fuck up when they try to tough it out and hang while pissed off.  Bad things don’t happen, friendships aren’t damaged, but a sting is left in place.  Another lesson when I was young from the old man.  My dad told me this precisely about 99 times, “If you are in a bad mood, go bang your head on a brick wall many times until you hurt, which will take away the mental pain for the time being.  Also, you will be the only one feeling this pain.”  He never followed his own advice.  I try to enforce it today.  If you are pissed off, go home.  Laughter isn’t the fucking medicine. (more…)